Episode 22

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Felicia and Ryon play Marble Madness.

Episode 22 title card.jpg

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Marble Madness
Platform NES
Published Milton Bradley, 1989
Hosts Felicia Day
Ryon Day
Director Sean Becker
Executive producers Felicia Day
Sheri Bryant
Editing Sean Becker
Graphics Steven Sprinkles
Music Jason Charles Miller
Production assistant Annie Liu
Stats (as of January 12, 2020)
First aired November 4, 2013
Duration 14:31
Views 196,936
Likes 4,796
Comments 549


Ryon: "This is my sister, Felicia,"

Felicia: "this is my brother, Ryon,"

Ryon: "and we're gonna bleep out all the swear words because the YouTube contract requires us to do so."

Felicia: "For the record, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck."

Felicia: "I have a huge collection of marbles. If you're lucky, I—"

Ryon, pointing to Felicia's head: "They're not up here though, eh? Eh?"

Felicia, looking disgusted: "What the fuck!?"

Ryon, to someone off-camera: "Can you insert a laugh track for this? Alright, good."

Felicia: "God, he's a director now!"

Ryon, on name entry screen: "'Rub'?"

Felicia: "'Rub'? Rub your Anuss."

Felicia: "Can I play now?"

Ryon: "Okay, there would be no point to going down there— [Felicia resets console] oh— YOU FUCKING SHIT!!"

Felicia: "I'm gonna look this 45-degree slash—"

Ryon: "Are we actually getting to the point where we're reading instruction manuals?"

Felicia: "I don't like where this is going either, but—"

Felicia: "Can we play Diablo?"

Ryon: "Okay, I'm gonna go down there."

Felicia: "I'm gonna go down the chute. OH! BAD CALL! BAD CALL!"

Ryon: "OH! OH NO! OH NO THAT WAS NOT— NOT A GOOD IDEA! Not the best idea I've ever had! Nope. Nope. Not the best. Okay."


Felicia: "I didn't say anything the whole time, and therefore I did better. I think when I move my mouth, my hand-to-eye—"

Ryon: "So let's just have the audience watch us play games in silence."

Felicia: "Oh god, you got dizzy for no reason. You're like hypoglycemic."

Felicia: "What do marbles eat for breakfast?"

Ryon: "Is this a joke? What do they eat for breakfast?"

Felicia: "If it was on a popsicle stick. What do marbles eat for breakfast?"

Off-camera: "A well rounded diet."

Ryon, laughing: "A well rounded meal!"

Felicia: "Did you hear that? A well rounded meal."

Ryon: "Oh, that's how you do it. [falls in hole] No, that's not how you do it. This is how you do it. [falls off edge] That's not how you do it. [succeeds] That's how you do it, right there."

Felicia: "My face, I'm sure, looks like I'm taking a shit when I'm playing this game. [makes a face while grunting]"

Ryon: "Did we ever finish this? The Amiga version of this?"

Felicia: "I don't remember. I think I lied to Gerhart and said that I totally finished it. No, we never did."

Ryon: "Cut that out, Sean! Cut it."

Ryon: "I've got 20 more seconds to finish this than last time. I have a veritable world of time— [marble falls off edge] bye! World of time to finish this level. This is well within reach."

Felicia: "Your arrogance is gonna be your downfall."

Ryon: "Okay, here we go. All I have to do is believe in myself, and be good."

Felicia: "This is your moment to shine."

Ryon, as hammers knock him off the edge: "HAMMERS! Stop fucking with me, hammers!"

Felicia hums U Can't Touch This by MC Hammer

Ryon: "This is awful. God dammit, hammers!"

Felicia humming louder

Ryon: "Stop."

Felicia: "I have to tell you, you deserved that. I believed in you. Alright—"

Ryon, laughing: "You did not! That's a lie."

Felicia, while Ryon mistypes the name Anuss: "'AMOOS'? Rub it out. [spit takes] I didn't mean that! Fuck you. Who would put 'rub' there? In the history of video games, have you ever seen—"

Ryon: "Look, Milton Bradley was new at this, okay?"

Felicia: "This is frustrating, but I mean I'm having a good time failing, which is all about what video games should be."

Ryon: "God dammit! You're just bumbling into first place. You realize that, right?"

Ryon: "HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET THERE!? I am so angry at you right now, I can't even tell you how angry I am. Get off. [pushes Felicia's ball off edge] Get off."

Felicia: "I hate you! I hate you! I hope the fucking hammer goes up your ass, Anuss!"

Gerhart: "Muwahaha. 'Marble champion,' huh? I told you you couldn't beat this game."

Felicia: "Toucan Sam wants to fuck you over."

Ryon, as Toucan Sam: "'Follow my nose!' Fuck you, Toucan Sam!"

Felicia: "Alright, you could do this."

Ryon: "I have no desire to continue."

Character names

  • Ryon: "ANUSS"
  • Felicia: "POOPY"


Felicia: "5 balls"

Ryon: "5 balls"

Cue points

0:00 "This week" preview
0:11 Opening theme
0:19 Host intro
2:28 Game begins
8:05 "Bad Call of the Week"
11:21 "Spit Take of the Week"
14:01 Rating and outro
14:18 End card/promo
14:29 Closing theme
14:31 End video


  • Gerhart, first mentioned in the Goldeneye episode as the owner of that cartridge, gifted this game to Felicia at San Diego Comic Con during a bonus video where she interviewed him. He was extremely skeptical of Felicia's claim that she dominated in this game.


Bonus content

Co-Optitude - Marble Madness Bonus Content

External links


Social media