Felicia and Ryon play Marble Madness.
|Published||Milton Bradley, 1989|
|Executive producers||Felicia Day
|Music||Jason Charles Miller|
|Production assistant||Annie Liu|
|Stats (as of January 12, 2020)|
|First aired||November 4, 2013|
Ryon: "This is my sister, Felicia,"
Felicia: "this is my brother, Ryon,"
Ryon: "and we're gonna bleep out all the swear words because the YouTube contract requires us to do so."
Felicia: "For the record, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck."
Felicia: "I have a huge collection of marbles. If you're lucky, I—"
Ryon, pointing to Felicia's head: "They're not up here though, eh? Eh?"
Felicia, looking disgusted: "What the fuck!?"
Ryon, to someone off-camera: "Can you insert a laugh track for this? Alright, good."
Felicia: "God, he's a director now!"
Ryon, on name entry screen: "'Rub'?"
Felicia: "'Rub'? Rub your Anuss."
Felicia: "Can I play now?"
Ryon: "Okay, there would be no point to going down there— [Felicia resets console] oh— YOU FUCKING SHIT!!"
Felicia: "I'm gonna look this 45-degree slash—"
Ryon: "Are we actually getting to the point where we're reading instruction manuals?"
Felicia: "I don't like where this is going either, but—"
Felicia: "Can we play Diablo?"
Ryon: "Okay, I'm gonna go down there."
Felicia: "I'm gonna go down the chute. OH! BAD CALL! BAD CALL!"
Ryon: "OH! OH NO! OH NO THAT WAS NOT— NOT A GOOD IDEA! Not the best idea I've ever had! Nope. Nope. Not the best. Okay."
Felicia: "BAD CALL! EVERYONE, BAD CALL!"
Felicia: "I didn't say anything the whole time, and therefore I did better. I think when I move my mouth, my hand-to-eye—"
Ryon: "So let's just have the audience watch us play games in silence."
Felicia: "Oh god, you got dizzy for no reason. You're like hypoglycemic."
Felicia: "What do marbles eat for breakfast?"
Ryon: "Is this a joke? What do they eat for breakfast?"
Felicia: "If it was on a popsicle stick. What do marbles eat for breakfast?"
Off-camera: "A well rounded diet."
Ryon, laughing: "A well rounded meal!"
Felicia: "Did you hear that? A well rounded meal."
Ryon: "Oh, that's how you do it. [falls in hole] No, that's not how you do it. This is how you do it. [falls off edge] That's not how you do it. [succeeds] That's how you do it, right there."
Felicia: "My face, I'm sure, looks like I'm taking a shit when I'm playing this game. [makes a face while grunting]"
Ryon: "Did we ever finish this? The Amiga version of this?"
Felicia: "I don't remember. I think I lied to Gerhart and said that I totally finished it. No, we never did."
Ryon: "Cut that out, Sean! Cut it."
Ryon: "I've got 20 more seconds to finish this than last time. I have a veritable world of time— [marble falls off edge] bye! World of time to finish this level. This is well within reach."
Felicia: "Your arrogance is gonna be your downfall."
Ryon: "Okay, here we go. All I have to do is believe in myself, and be good."
Felicia: "This is your moment to shine."
Ryon, as hammers knock him off the edge: "HAMMERS! Stop fucking with me, hammers!"
Felicia hums U Can't Touch This by MC Hammer
Ryon: "This is awful. God dammit, hammers!"
Felicia humming louder
Felicia: "I have to tell you, you deserved that. I believed in you. Alright—"
Ryon, laughing: "You did not! That's a lie."
Felicia, while Ryon mistypes the name Anuss: "'AMOOS'? Rub it out. [spit takes] I didn't mean that! Fuck you. Who would put 'rub' there? In the history of video games, have you ever seen—"
Ryon: "Look, Milton Bradley was new at this, okay?"
Felicia: "This is frustrating, but I mean I'm having a good time failing, which is all about what video games should be."
Ryon: "God dammit! You're just bumbling into first place. You realize that, right?"
Ryon: "HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET THERE!? I am so angry at you right now, I can't even tell you how angry I am. Get off. [pushes Felicia's ball off edge] Get off."
Felicia: "I hate you! I hate you! I hope the fucking hammer goes up your ass, Anuss!"
Gerhart: "Muwahaha. 'Marble champion,' huh? I told you you couldn't beat this game."
Felicia: "Toucan Sam wants to fuck you over."
Ryon, as Toucan Sam: "'Follow my nose!' Fuck you, Toucan Sam!"
Felicia: "Alright, you could do this."
Ryon: "I have no desire to continue."
- Ryon: "ANUSS"
- Felicia: "POOPY"
Felicia: "5 balls"
Ryon: "5 balls"
|0:00||"This week" preview|
|8:05||"Bad Call of the Week"|
|11:21||"Spit Take of the Week"|
|14:01||Rating and outro|
- Gerhart, first mentioned in the Goldeneye episode as the owner of that cartridge, gifted this game to Felicia at San Diego Comic Con during a bonus video where she interviewed him. He was extremely skeptical of Felicia's claim that she dominated in this game.
- Marble Madness - Retro Let's Play: Co-Optitude Ep 22 on YouTube
- Marble Madness on Wikipedia
- MC Hammer - U Can't Touch This (Official Music Video) on YouTube
- Toucan Sam on Wikipedia