Episode 45

Felicia and Ryon play Parasite Eve.

Parasite Eve

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Platform	PlayStation
Published	Square Electronic Arts, 1998
Credits
Hosts	Felicia Day Ryon Day
Director of cinematography	Omer Ganai
Executive producers	Felicia Day Sheri Bryant
Editing	Andrew Jewell
Graphics	Steven Sprinkles
Music	Jason Charles Miller
Production assistant	Annie Liu
Stats (as of January 12, 2020)
First aired	May 12, 2014
Duration	17:42
Views	164,108
Likes	4,606
Comments	633

Quotes

Felicia: "Hey, everybody!"

Ryon: "Hey, guys!"

Felicia: "Well, it's Monday. Guess what day that is."

Ryon: "Monday."

Felicia: "…Exactly."

Felicia: "This is an action, role-playing, survival, horror video game. So that's like five things in one."

Ryon: "It's five things in one. It's a one-stop shop for—"

Felicia: "It's like a pizza/Chinese food/drug store kind of place, right?"

Ryon: "Yeah, it's like putting your Quaaludes in sesame chicken on top of a pizza crust and baking it."

Felicia: "Okay, I don't know what that— [laughing]"

Ryon: "And, again, here's the instruction manual; we're not gonna need that."

Felicia, reading: "'Aya Brea. 25. NYPD officer.'"

Name entry screen appears

Ryon, laughing: "Oh no, that's not her name!"

Felicia: "That's not her name!"

Ryon: "I don't think that's her name."

Felicia, reading man's dialog: "'Aren't you glad you decided to go out with me?' Not right now."

Ryon: "What kind of beta asks that shit? Like, that's the kind of question that makes her like say no."

Felicia: "I don't know. Now I'm tired. Opera makes me tired."

Felicia: "It's never a video game until you rob a clown."

Ryon, seeing dressing room full of charred clowns: "Those, I would say, are sad clowns."

Felicia: "He looks like a Korean barbecue."

Felicia: "I really should have stolen that hat before they burned him, because it woulda looked cute on me!"

Felicia, finding another burned corpse: "Oh shit, there's barbecue. You know what that looks like? Pork belly."

Ryon: "Are you hungry by any chance?"

Felicia: "Little bit."

Felicia: "Okay, go straight. I bet you can go in the Colosseum."

Ryon: "That's a painting! [laughing] Did you really say go into the Colosseum at Rome? I just want to clarify."

Felicia: "You're the worst."

Ryon: "Is that actually what you said? Oh wait, there's a big-ass door here."

Felicia: "That's a fucking prop. I hate this!"

Ryon: "I hate theaters! They always fool me with their wonderful looking things that are not [real]."

Ryon: "Look, ammo doesn't grow on trees, alright?"

Felicia: "I know!"

Ryon: "It grows inside rats and frogs, it's true."

Felicia: "I don't wanna hear about my mitochondria any more unless you have a pamphlet I can read. You know what I'm saying?"

Felicia, during cutscene: "Are you absorbing anything?"

Ryon, shaking head: "Hmm-mmm."

Felicia: "Nope? I just want to do a casual encounter. Okay, we don't need the story here. [laughing off-screen] Something about mitochondria, mitochondria, mitochondria, mitochondria, mitochondria, [indistinct] MitochondriAAAA!! God, he talks A LOT!! He talks a LOT!"

Felicia: "There must be four-thousand lines of dialog in this game."

Felicia: "God, her pants are going up her crotch. Did you see that? Right there!"

Ryon, laughing: "It's like there's a black hole right there that's sucking all the—"

Felicia: "Her vagina is like a vacuum sucking it in!"

Felicia: "Come on, Danny Glover, let's go. I'll be your Mel Gibson. Come on, let me."

Ryon: "You're too old for this shit, Daniel. Just let me go."

Felicia: "What is that?"

Ryon: "It's a man with a big arm."

Felicia: "That's a former homeless man. That is a really—"

Ryon: "'Formerly.'"

Ryan Copple, off-camera: "He's still homeless!"

Felicia, laughing: "That is true. I don't know, he could have gotten like a pied-à-terre."

Felicia: "Get the junk. You know you want junk."

Ryon, laughing: "Pushing a shopping cart around Central Park with all your junk in it."

Ryon: "Oh, hey look, a door."

Felicia: "No, that's a gate."

Ryon, laughing: "You fucking asshole."

Character names

Aya: "Anoos"

Rating

Felicia: "something about mitochondria"

Ryon: "missing keys something-something, straight up"

Cue points

0:00	"This week" preview
0:24	Opening theme
0:33	Host intro
1:57	"A word from our station" - Spooked promo
2:32	Game begins
3:23	"Cultural Lesson of the Week"
17:08	Rating and outro
17:31	End card/promo
17:40	Closing theme
17:42	End video

Gallery

Felicia and Ryon introducing the episode
The Parasite Eve game box
A chance to rename Aya
Ryan Copple's pro-tip: "You're [sic] accuracy is worse when you're farther away"
Felicia regretting she didn't steal the clown's hat before he was incinerated
A pamphlet on mitochondria
This game is making them sleepy
Aya's vagina is a black hole