Felicia and Ryon play Job Simulator.
|Published||Owlchemy Labs, 2016|
|Stats (as of January 12, 2020)|
|First aired||May 23, 2016|
Ryon: "This is the show formerly where I played retro games with my sister."
Felicia: "And this is the show where I've played four years of games with my brother."
Ryon: "Played. Four years of games. Regrettable four years."
Felicia: "No! Not at all."
Ryon: "Well, that was what you implied with your voice tone."
Felicia: "That's not true. I don't know why you're projecting. Maybe you have regrets in your life that you're trying to look back—"
Ryon: "Oh wait, you trying to turn this around on me?"
Felicia: "Yeah. Tell me about your feelings."
Ryon: "Oh wow, I'm feeling extreme anger right now. I'll tell you that."
Felicia: "Do you think it'll be when you get in there you're gonna be like, 'Holy crap, this is gonna transform my life' or do you think, 'Oh, this is a gimmick.'"
Ryon: "I'm gonna think it's in between the two. When you think retro games, right, like what do you think?"
Felicia: "I think like Pitfall, Tank—"
Ryon: "Like pixelated? You know what you don't think when you think retro games? Is like that shitty N64 3D, like, ugh god. It's like avocado colored carpet."
Felicia: "You think it's gonna be clunky, unusable, and a transitionary technology."
Ryon: "I think it's the puberty, balls dropping of VR. That's what it is."
Felicia: "Okay, that's Ryon's assessment."
Ryon: "That's my suspicion, yes."
Felicia: "For the record, we're not being paid for any of this."
Ryon: "They would never pay me to say this."
Felicia: "Alright, just put it on your head."
Ryon: "I know! I've worn hats."
Ryon: "So I assume I'm in a future when people don't work anymore? God. Born too soon!"
Ryon: "Cool Ranch Triangles? Get away from my porno."
NPC: "Could I also get one of those meat cylinders please?"
Ryon: "I'll give you a meat cylinder."
Ryon: "Get out of my way. He wants a—"
Felicia: "I'm trying to turn the TV up, and you punched my tit!"
Ryon: "The risk of VR, man."
NPC: "I'll take my daily lottery ticket as well."
Ryon: "Oh yeah, I'm sure you're gonna hit it big. Good luck with that. What do you want? Lumberjackpot? What, Smuggle? Whatever, lady."
NPC: "Oh dear, I'm feeling a little faint today, dearie."
Ryon: "I don't care. Not in my job description."
NPC: "Do you think you could scratch that lottery ticket for me? You can use my quarter."
Ryon: "Oh, can I keep it, lady? God, you're just like a fucking baby boomer. This is a baby boomer robot. Jesus, my life is awful. [scratches ticket] Oh, you lose. You're a loser."
Ryon, as Felicia is pouring an invisible sugar shaker in her mouth: "Just another day at Geek & Sundry, right guys? It's every day, right? Yeah, everybody's nodding yes, this is exactly she's like."
Felicia: "Shut up!"
Felicia, picking up phone: "Hello?"
NPC on phone: "Number 1 please? I need number 1. Line 1 for me, please."
Felicia: "Okay, yeah, what?"
NPC on phone: "Gimme number 1."
Felicia: "I don't know what you're talking about. I'm on another line."
NPC: "I need to talk to somebody at line number 1. Hello there, can you get me number 1."
Felicia hits "1" button
NPC: "Thank you very much!"
Felicia, hanging up phone: "What a bitch."
Felicia: "Yeaaaaaah, yeaaaaah. Look at my balls!"
Felicia: "Olive oil? You should drink some of that."
Ryon: "Oh yeah? I think you're right. [drinking] Oh, that's good, dude. Just rub it on myself."
Felicia: "Please don't oil yourself up! Come on!"
NPC: "Timmy is also allergic to warmth. Could you just serve the ingredients raw?"
Ryon: "Oh my god this fucking guy. Precious Timmy!"
Felicia: "If you could have a virtual shit, would you put your hand in it and splash it around."
Ryon: "I mean, I do it every day at home. I don't need VR for that, dude. I mean, come on."
Ryon: "10 hot peppers"
Felicia: "44 unfulfilling jobs turned into magic"
|0:00||"This week" preview|
|4:31||"Virtual Reality Risk of the Week"|
|14:21||Rating and outro|
- Let's Play JOB SIMULATOR! (Co-Optitude w/ Ryon & Felicia Day) on YouTube
- Job Simulator on Wikipedia
- Pitfall! on Wikipedia
- Tank (video game) on Wikipedia
- Beyoncé - Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It) (Video Version) on YouTube - song "if you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it" comes from