Episode 128

Felicia and Ryon play Affordable Space Adventures.

Affordable Space Adventures

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Platform	Wii U
Published	NapNok Games, 2015
Credits
Hosts	Felicia Day Ryon Day
Stats (as of January 12, 2020)
First aired	May 30, 2016
Duration	17:09
Views	78,435
Likes	2,411
Comments	148

Quotes

Ryon, of Felicia wearing a helmet: "You look like a Dot. Look, look at that. You're a turd flavored Dot. That's what you are."

Felicia: "Anyway, I'm excited about our game today because the cool thing is that— [fumbles with helmet] This is too confining!"

Ryon, after closing her visor: "That's better actually. I like this costume because it cuts down on the shrillness a little bit."

Felicia: "Shut up! Ow!"

Ryon: "In fact, maybe you'd like to double layer it, and it'd really like— [pounds his helmet onto Felicia's head]"

Felicia: "No! No! [removes helmet] Alright."

Ryon, to off-camera: "Hair!"

Felicia: "Okay, listen. This is a Wii U game, so the cool thing is that one of us is gonna play the navigator and the flashlight—"

Ryon: "That's so cool, dude! 'And the flashlight.' That's right. [pointing off camera] Like you were really like pushing the flashlight."

Felicia: "Yeah, Mike off-camera was like, 'Whoa, you can be a flashlight!'"

Ryon: "'You're like, 'You can turn the flashlight on and off!'"

Felicia: "That's kind of like Mario Maker. 'You can be the star! You can be this one!'"

Ryon: "'You can turn the flashlight on and off! And also there's a flashlight you can turn on and off!'"

Felicia: "You know who you can be? Tails. You can be the Tails of this game."

Ryon: "You're the Tails right here. This is the Tails controller, right here."

Felicia: "Alright, so I'm gonna have Tails controller for this. I'm gonna be the navigator and the 'flashlight.'"

Ryon: "You're going to be benign at best and an active detriment to progress at worst. But I'm used to that."

Felicia, reading: "Okay, 'The small craft scanner is equipped with a FLASHLIGHT to illuminate—'"

Ryon: "Ah dude, it's your time to shine! Eh? [elbowing Felicia] It's your time to shine! It's your time to shine! Get it? Do you get it?"

Felicia: "Okay, okay. Yeah, I got it!"

Ryon: "Do you get it? Alright, good. Because flashlights shine."

Felicia: "Lemme— Okay— Look at me, this is—"

Ryon: "How is it possible to shine your flashlight in only the wrong direction every time? It's like, it's not even chance. "

Felicia, turning off engines: "Oops. I just wanna show you that I have the power to make this not go."

Ryon: "Oh, are you on strike?"

Felicia: "Yeah. I'm on strike!"

Ryon: "Are you on strike?"

Felicia: "Look at this. How do you like the floor? Yeah?"

Ryon: "I mean, I'm fine. We'll just stay here. Alright, let's go."

Felicia: "Go. Okay, the engine's on. I just want to let you know. I just want to let you know I have the power."

Ryon: "That you can fuck us up at any moment?"

Felicia: "I can literally stop the fun at any moment."

Ryon: "Oh that happened a long time ago."

Felicia: "Okay, so I'm going to make you really heavy."

Ryon, laughing, making bubble noises: "Blublublublublublublub! Well, this is good."

Ship sits motionless in a puddle

Felicia: "How do I— Is it helping you?"

Ryon: "Oh, this is really good! Good job!"

Ryon: "Oh, dude, he's overheating! Our child's overheating."

Felicia, laughing: "Oh great, now it's our child?"

Ryon: "Yeah. Only when he does something good. When he's bad he's yours."

Felicia: "Wow, that required skill! You're just the braun and I'm the brains."

Ryon: "You're definitely Tails."

Felicia: "I'm the—? No! Really? [turns off engine] [ship drops]"

Ryon, laughing: "You're just punishing Splory."

Felicia: "You can't call me Tails."

Ryon: "Look, Splory is really, really, really sad right now. Look, he's already— He breaks under stress."

Ryon: "Splory's leaning to explore his own body."

Felicia: "Can you go through there and not die?"

Ryon: "Splory's gonna hurt, but we gotta touch the hot— [ship explodes] Oh! Splory's gotta touch the hot stove to learn that fire burns you."

Felicia: "It's true. This is how you raise your child."

Ryon: "This is how you learn, Splory."

Felicia: "Everyone, this is a good parenting episode of Co-Optitude, alright?"

Ryon: "That's true. This is how you raise a small child."

Ryon: "Oh, is there a bank shot? Can you bank shot?"

Felicia, seeing flare bounce: "YEAH! This turned into pool!"

Ryon: "Alright. Alright, Splory. You're gonna play basketball in high school, and you don't have a say in it. That's what you're gonna do."

Ryon: "Oh dude, we're so good at this."

Felicia: "Oh my god. Oh no! [ship is blasted and tumbles down chasm] YOU FUCKING IDIOT!"

Ryon, whispering: "Not in front of the child!"

Felicia: "Oh, sorry! Sorry, Splory!"

Ryon, as ship gets blasted by sentinel: "Whoa!"

Felicia: "OH MY GOD!"

Ryon: "That's a long ranged one. Alright, start it up."

Felicia: "Well, you're just gonna get killed immediately."

Ryon: "No, man. Splory is—"

Ship is killed immediately and tumbles down chasm

Ryon, as though scripted: "He fell down the stairs. Right Splory? You fell down the cliff, right Splory?"

Felicia: "Not funny! Not funny!"

Ryon: "Very funny."

Felicia: "Child abuse jokes are not funny!"

Ryon: "It's not a child. It's a space ship. It's a child space ship."

Felicia: "Child space ship jokes are not funny! Guys, leave it in the comments if you think it's funny!"

Ryon: "Okay, we're gonna make it. Oh man, you're the worst mom."

Felicia, laughing: "I have fifteen things to do, and you're just like [steering controller] hunhhhhhh!"

Ryon: "You know Splory's gotta go to baseball practice too, right?"

Ryon: "Alright, ready? Okay, we do the same thing as last time but you gotta immediately turn the engines back on. Ready? Dude, go. Off. Oooooooooooooooo[n]—"

Felicia, laughing: "What was that noise!? 'Awwwwwww! Awwwwww-awww-aww! Awwwwww!'"

Ryon, laughing: "It was me being right no matter what happened. That's what it was."

Felicia: "Okay, you did not wait for me."

Ryon: "What!?"

Felicia: "You did not wait for me!"

Ryon: "I wasn't even doing anything, man."

Felicia: "Yeah! You drove the thing. Okay."

Ryon: "Okay, look look, here. [sets controller on the table] Just do what you need to do, alright? It's okay, Splory. When you turn 18 you can get away from her."

Ryon: "Okay, so what you need to do is I need to get some forward momentum and you need to like fuck with the gravity so I like go down and then up and use my inertia."

Felicia: "Oh god, THIS IS SO HARD! THIS IS LIKE MATH! I love math. I have a degree in it."

Ryon, mocking Felicia in falsetto: "'I don't like math. I'm a role model for female girls everywhere.'"

Felicia: "This is actually really fun, and definitely this is not the Tails of this."

Ryon: "If you're prone to anxiety, you definitely don't want to do this."

Felicia: "Yeah, do the Tails, which is the smaller one, which is really not what we initially thought."

Ryon: "You might wanna be the cooler parent and not the high-strung, pressure parent."

Felicia: "The one with no skills. The one who gets like the, 'Hey, we're gonna go get ice cream but I have no responsibilities.'"

Rating

Felicia: "15,000 buttons"

Ryon: "30 space ship therapy sessions"

Cue points

0:00	"This week" preview
0:08	Opening theme
0:16	Host intro
2:32	Game begins
11:55	"Co-Parenting Struggle of the Week"
16:20	Rating and outro
17:02	Closing theme
17:04	End card/promo
17:09	End video