Episode 9

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Felicia and Ryon play Mega Bomberman.

This episode has the most views of any Co-Optitude episode. If you also include The Flog segments, the Streets of Rage episode has the most views of any Felicia and Ryon video game video.

Mega Bomberman

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Platform	Sega Genesis
Published	Sega, 1994
Credits
Hosts	Felicia Day Ryon Day
Director	Sean Becker
Executive producers	Felicia Day Sheri Bryant
Editing	Sean Becker James Deuling
Graphics	Steven Sprinkles
Music	Jason Charles Miller
Production assistant	Annie Liu
Stats (as of January 12, 2020)
First aired	July 22, 2013
Duration	14:50
Views	387,618
Likes	8,397
Comments	1,416

Quotes

Ryon, as comet appears on screen: "Alright, what do we got here? Wow, a Q-Tip!"

Felicia: "Sperm!"

Ryon: "A Q-Tip or a sperm. You should be proud of me. I was gonna say big dick but then I said Q-Tip instead."

Felicia: "Well, but you just said big dick so..."

Felicia: "You know, it's fascinating how the mechanics of the physical—"

Ryon, not paying any attention: "Alright, I wanna be— whoa!"

Felicia: "I'll just stop talking."

Felicia, seeing the players labeled "MAN" on screen: "Man. Why are they all men? What the fuck is this? I don't wanna play a man; I wanna play a woman. Why can't I be a woman in there?"

Ryon: "Because women can't play games."

Felicia, to herself: "Thaaat's why you're single."

Felicia: "Whoa, I just shit out two bombs. I keep shitting out bombs! Oh my god! Stop! Why was I shitting bombs out like that!? Look at it! I'm not touching anything, and bombs keep coming out of my asshole! No, this is not right. No, seriously, dude. I just keep dropping bombs out of my ass like I'm a fucking rabbit."

Felicia: "So I need to go around the corner when I drop a bomb."

Felicia, after several rounds of play and a long pause: "Oh, okay, I get it, we're competing against each other."

Ryon: "Really!?"

Felicia: "OH! Fuck you, Felicia! Felicia, you're an idiot! [to Ryon] You have no skill! I'm just literally killing myself."

Ryon: "I just have to be a little less incompetent than you and I win every time."

Felicia: "Oh! I almost— I almost—"

Ryon: "You almost didn't kill yourself? Are you boasting about this right now?"

Felicia: "Dude, it's an improvement."

Felicia: "This is literally the best game I've played in years."

Ryon: "This is pretty much awesome."

Felicia: "Why don't they have this now?"

Ryon: "'Cause you'd have to like do a microtransaction for every power. Do you want additional bombs? One cent. One cent per bomb."

Felicia: "High speed is great because you can just come around and just ffffuck— you're just like, phbbt-phbbt-phbbt-phbbt-phbbt."

Ryon: "So articulate!"

Felicia: "I just spit all over."

Ryon: "I think that's probably the best rating any video game creator could possibly want. 'High speed is great, you can go all fucking pfffffffft!'"

Felicia and Ryon together, reacting to results screen: "'Draw game'!?"

Felicia: "Nobody's in the audience. They're like, 'That was the shittiest performance ever.'"

Ryon: "He's reading the paper! He's reading the fucking paper!"

Felicia: "All they want is somebody to lose."

Felicia: "Oh shit, I just killed myself accidentally. No no, I'm shitting out bombs for no reason! Oh my god, it's like anal leakage. It's like the worst power to get."

Ryon: "Olestra?"

Felicia: "Olestra."

Felicia: "The irony is that the person who won is the worst player."

Ryon: "It's like rain on your wedding day."

Felicia: "You— you are a fuck."

Ryon: "I am well aware of that. You've told me many times."

Felicia: "The number one game we've played the whole time, even though I wasn't particularly talented, competent, or victorious, ever, I would say the enjoyment of blowing myself up repeatedly and basically handing him victory after victory, with no skill on his part whatsoever—"

Ryon: "Incredibly satisfying on my part, too."

Rating

Felicia: "The number one game we've played"

Ryon: "Number one"

Cue points

0:00	"This week" preview
0:07	Opening theme
0:17	Host intro
0:52	Game begins
3:47	"Observation of the Week"
10:41	Cheat code time
10:57	Ro-Sham-Co-Optitude
13:55	Rating and outro
14:32	End card/promo
14:47	Closing theme
14:50	End video

Trivia

It took Felicia and Ryon 11 rounds of ro-sham-bo to finally break the tie. Felicia won, rock beating scissors. If each side chooses truly randomly, the odds of a streak this long are 1 in 59,049. However, our choices are not truly random and are greatly influenced by the outcome of the previous round. More at Ars Technica.