Difference between revisions of "Episode 36"

Latest revision as of 17:45, 11 May 2020

Felicia and Ryon play Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

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Platform	GameCube
Published	Electronic Arts, 2005
Credits
Hosts	Felicia Day Ryon Day
Director	Sean Becker
Executive producers	Felicia Day Sheri Bryant
Editing	Andrew Jewell
Graphics	Steven Sprinkles
Music	Jason Charles Miller
Production assistant	Annie Liu
Stats (as of January 12, 2020)
First aired	March 3, 2014
Duration	12:21
Views	196,628
Likes	4,368
Comments	552

Quotes

Ryon: "So, tell me something. Why the fuck are you dressed like you're at a Gryffindor slumber party? What, did you go to like Spencer's or Hot Topic or something and get—"

Felicia: "It is, indeed, a Hot Topic shirt."

Ryon: "If I have to fucking do this shit, then you should have to do it, too. Shithead-o change-o!"

VFX edit makes Felicia change into Hogwarts school uniform

Felicia: "Okay, is this good enough for you?"

Ryon: "I mean, you're wearing an infant's tie. I mean, like this is the tie they wore in the movie as kids I think."

Ryon: "So I think that J. K. Rowling should write another series of books like thirty years later. Like after—"

Felicia: "Well, she needs to write about the affair where Hermione and Harry meet in Italy."

Ryon: "Hermione and Harry finally bump some uglies."

Felicia: "Question: what are these mushrooms on the ground for? I need all mushrooms."

Ryon: "They're for a little bit of a journey that we can take."

Felicia: "Together. Me and—"

Ryon: "Me and Hermione."

Felicia: "Ron, just watch our bodies while we trip balls."

Ryon, reading prompt: "'Collect blue beans.' I'll tell you what Harry's got: blue balls. And there's only one cure: Hermione."

Felicia: "I'm gonna play Ron. I actually have his hair. [to camera] Hey! I beat you to it, internet!"

Felicia: "I always felt sorry for Hermione as the years went by because her boobs— You know that awkward teen boob thing. Like, you know you're wearing a training bra but you shouldn't."

Ryon: "I can't relate. Sorry."

Felicia: "Oh, I'm Ron. Ew."

Felicia: "If you were at Harry Potter-ville—"

Ryon: "'Harry Potter-ville'!? It's like a Zynga Facebook game? It's like you have like these micro-transactions. Like every bean costs a penny or something like that."

Felicia: "Yes, okay, exactly. If you were at Hogwarts studying, what would your emphasis have been?"

Ryon: "I think probably seduction magic or sexual magic."

Felicia, laughing: "There's no sexual magic!"

Ryon: "Yeah there is."

Felicia: "That's not— That's not—"

Ryon: "It's fourth year. It's actually a graduate course."

Felicia: "I would wanna meet J. K. Rowling and Oprah, and we'd have tea together and maybe go to a spa. Maybe sit around a span naked, but not look below the neck, 'cause we're friends!"

Felicia: "Stamina. Do it."

Ryon: "Yeaaaah."

Felicia: "Get everything. Buy it all."

Ryon: "Harry needs to last longer, according to Jenny."

Voiceover: "Now, to put the fires out you'll need to use aqua erupto."

Felicia: "Aqua erupto from your— Where's it gonna erupto from?"

Ryon: "Hermione! What are you doing? Hermione is running the show, obviously. Look at her. Her water spurt is the biggest. She's gushin'."

Felicia, laughing: "You're so gross."

Ryon, laughing: "120 health! 86 beans."

Felicia: "I hate you."

Ryon: "Alright, next room. Wait, are there any beans in here?"

Felicia: "Fuck you."

Ryon: "Yeah, beans!"

Felicia: "I don't care if you get beans or not."

Ryon: "Dude! We gotta get beans!"

Felicia: "I'm mad at you! It's done!"

Ryon: "Get the beans."

Felicia: "The beans are done."

Ryon: "Beans."

Felicia, laughing: "No! Please, stop it."

Ryon: "Can we compromise?"

Felicia, laughing: "It's either get beans or don't get beans."

Ryon: "Exactly, so the compromise is I get beans. That's how this works."

Felicia: "Wow, there's no beans. Stupid fucker."

Ryon: "Wait, maybe there's more beans in other chests."

Felicia: "Wow, you know what? This is the incident where Hermione was like, 'I'll just fuck Ron for the rest of my life.'"

Ryon: "You know, [tending dragons is] not as glamorous as it sounds."

Felicia: "Tending dragons?"

Ryon: "Yeah."

Felicia: "Why not?"

Ryon: "Because they probably eat a whole cow a day, which means they shit a whole cow a day."

Ryon: "One thing that startles me about Hogwarts is I just can't even imagine how many young wizards died there, right? It's like hush-hush."

Felicia: "There's a little graveyard."

Ryon: "But it's always like a 'swimming accident' or something like that. It was tragic, like they went swimming without supervision and it was their fault."

Felicia: "Hagrid tends to the little special garden in the forest outside of Hogwarts."

Ryon: "The trees grow with particular vigor in Hagrid's garden."

Felicia: "What house would Macaulay Culkin be sorted into? Let's talk about other child—"

Ryon: "Oh, he's Slytherin all day long, dude."

Felicia: "Macaulay Culkin is Slytherin all day long? Beaver's Slytherin all day long, by the way."

Ryon: "Beaver's a muggle. He was totally a muggle."

Felicia: "Selena Gomez seems like a Hufflepuff. No, Gryffindor. I would say Selena Gomez is Gryffindor."

Ryon: "All of That 70s Show kids are totally Hufflepuff."

Felicia: "I think Grace Helbig would be Hufflepuff, but she would be like the queen of the Hufflepuffs. Freddie Wong: Slytherin all the way. I just think he'd be Slytherin! He's kinda like you. He's like, fuck."

Ryon: "What about Sean Plott?"

Felicia: "Hufflepuff."

Ryon: "Sean Plott: Hufflepuff?"

Felicia: "Oh no, Sean Plott?"

Ryon: "Sean Plott: Ravenclaw, for real."

Felicia: "Ravenclaw, yeah. Oh, what about the vloggers? Amy Dallen? Hufflepuff."

Ryon: "Yeah, Hufflepuff."

Felicia: "Really? No, she might be Ravenclaw. Nika Harper: Gryffindor."

Ryon: "Nika— Yeah, Gryffindor."

Felicia: "Scott Tumilty who does retro games. Ravenclaw. Jeff Lewis."

Ryon: "Jeff Lewis? He needs his own house. Like, you can't even— Like, he needs a whole other fucking house."

Felicia: "Yeah, Jeff Lewis fits in no house."

Ryon, singing as they extinguish flames: "We didn't start the fire."

Felicia, singing: "It was only burning in the Forbidden Forest."

Felicia: "Hermione, do anything, please. You're a pretty girl."

Prompt: "Jinx Skrewt from the behind"

Felicia, reading: "'Jinx Skrewt'!? That might be the best sentence I've ever read in a video game."

Ryon, laughing: "Jinx Skrewt from behind."

Ryon: "This operation is sort of like getting semen from an elephant. It requires a lot of prostate stimulation to kill a Skrewt from behind."

Rating

Felicia: "4 wands up a Skrewt Jinx"

Ryon: "4 wands up a Skrewt from behind"

Cue points

0:00	"This week" preview
0:13	Opening theme
0:21	Host intro
1:38	Game begins
6:17	"Epic Sibling Bean War of the Week"
10:54	"Unintentional Sex Slang of the Week"
11:50	Rating and outro
12:11	End card/promo
12:18	Closing theme
12:21	End video

Bonus content

Bertie Bott's Beans! Co-Optitude Bonus

Gallery

Felicia and Ryon introducing the episode
Ryon changes Felicia's costume
Ryon derides Felicia's tiny tie
The Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire game box
Enjoying dropping a rock on Ron's head
"From the back it looks just like me, right?"
"Jinx Skrewt from behind"

External links

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire - Retro Let's Play: Co-Optitude Ep 36 on YouTube
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (video game) on Wikipedia

References

Spencer Gifts on Wikipedia
Hot Topic on Wikipedia
Zynga on Wikipedia
Episode 73. Home Alone - Mentioned as a game Felicia originally didn't want to play when it was suggested earlier because it's a movie tie-in. They wound up playing it later.
Macaulay Culkin on Wikipedia
Beaver Cleaver on Wikipedia - titular character on Leave It to Beaver
Selena Gomez on Wikipedia
That '70s Show on Wikipedia
Grace Helbig on Wikipedia
Freddie Wong on Wikipedia
Sean Plott on Wikipedia
Geek & Sundry Vlogs on Wikipedia
@enthusiamy on Twitter - Amy Dallen
ThisIsNika.com - Nika Harper
Scott Tumilty on YouTube
@jeffylew on Twitter - Jeff Lewis
Billy Joel - We Didn't Start the Fire (Official Video) on YouTube

Social media