Felicia and Ryon play Worms Armageddon.
|Published||Hasbro Interactive, 1999|
|Executive producers||Felicia Day
|Music||Jason Charles Miller|
|Production assistant||Annie Liu|
|Stats (as of January 12, 2020)|
|First aired||December 9, 2013|
Ryon: "Is there a way I can get my own TableTop mug that I can enjoy my daily hot cup of coffee in?"
Felicia, woodenly to camera: "What a coincidence, Ryon."
Felicia: "There is a way to purchase this mug on the Geek & Sundry website."
Ryon: "Please tell me more! I'm interested!"
Felicia: "If you want to be a virtual player of TableTop, you can go to geekandsundry.com/store and get one of these amazing mugs for the low price of [makes bleeping noises]. So if you enjoy TableTop mugs, or if you— [laughing]"
Ryon: "Are you a Topper? Show your support by getting a TableTop mug!"
Felicia: "A Topper?"
Ryon: "A Topper!"
Ryon: "Fans of TableTop, the hit YouTube series starring Wil Wheaton!"
Felicia, pretending to sip from mug: "Mmm, that's good."
Felicia: "And may I mention, [points to hair] look at this. New console, new hair. I'm sure two or three of you will express your opinion about it. I feel really good, except I feel like— It's a little phantom-limb-syndrome back here. I do tend to wear more long earrings to kinda simulate the idea."
Ryon: "So you're running your fingers through your long, dangly earrings?"
Felicia: "Yeah. Think I'm gonna keep it and not grow it out. Do you care? Not really."
Ryon: "Whole bunch of baggage train just wrecked in that conversation, but that's okay."
Felicia: "So, um, should we read the manual? No."
Ryon: "Nope. Never."
Felicia: "Let's not change the show that much. New platform, new hair. That's quite enough."
Felicia: "We play worms, and it's gonna be hard not to make little chubby penis jokes, I'm just telling you right now."
Ryon: "So that'll be the first and only."
Felicia: "First and only! Just trying to get it out."
Ryon: "We're gonna play it straight."
Felicia: "Play it straight."
Ryon: "They're not little chubby penises. They're fleshy worms. That's all they are."
Felicia: "They're not really worms. Worms have— I don't know. Okay, let's not talk about it."
Ryon: "What— I kinda wanna talk about this. What do worms not have in comparison to penises?"
Felicia: "Well, they're just proportional. They don't have a bigger head than a back. You know? They're just basically the same thickness the whole way. And this worm is a little more well-endowed on the brain end."
Felicia: "Uh, two? God, you can play with six people? Five people."
Ryon: "That's four."
Felicia: "Two, three, and four. Oh yeah. I'm sorry, lots of penises together look like multiple more penises. I mean worms."
Ryon: "Is that a situation you're faced with often?"
Felicia: "Well, more than two's just a gang. [to camera] Let's never use that."
Felicia: "Alright, we're gettin' the hung of it. The hung of it."
Ryon: "Because they're little penises? Right?"
Felicia: "Yeah. Yeah— No, we're not saying that anymore!"
Felicia: "I don't know how to get there. I ain't got no car."
Ryon, laughing: "Fucking who are you, Coolio?"
Felicia: "Jump! Jump! For my love. [shout-singing through gritted teeth] Jump in! Jump in my heart! Can make you happy! Jump! I know what it takes!"
Ryon: "Oh, it worked. It worked. The Eurythmics. What is it, Eurythmics?"
Felicia, shout-singing: "[unintelligible] in the night dear! Jump! Jump my love!"
Felicia: "It's the Pointer Sisters! Get your shit together!"
Felicia, reading GameFAQs about best weapons: "'Indian nuclear test, the concrete donkey, and armageddon are considered good.' I don't even know."
Ryon: "Those all sound like exotic sex positions. The concrete donkey?"
Felicia: "Alright, I don't think looking up instructions— I mean, if we wanted to have a three-week training session in Worms—"
Ryon: "That's not what Co-Optitude's all about."
Felicia: "Co-Optitude is about, uh, us stumbling through— I don't know what it's about. It's about— It's all about family. [laughs]"
Ryon: "Co-Optitude is about family and friends and good times and drinking tea from the coffee mug from a wonderful other Geek & Sundry show."
Felicia, laughing: "It's amazing. It's amazing."
Ryon: "Just get over there, penis."
Felicia: "We weren't gonna say they're penises! We weren't gonna do it! We're gonna be better than that!"
Ryon: "No, penis!"
Felicia: "We were gonna be better and more mature! Finally, a new fresher Co-Optitude!"
Felicia: "You know worms on sidewalks? I always move them off. Just 'cause it's karma. One day, when you're dead you're—"
Ryon: "Not anymore. I'm gonna fucking kill every worm I see on the sidewalk. This is just the worst. Okay, well, I don't even know what to do now."
Felicia: "I always move them, and I put them in the wet grass. I put a little leaf on them."
Felicia: "I love the holy grenade! That was great, and the sound effect? Did you hear that?"
Ryon: "Yeah, I heard it. Just fuck off. Shut it. Shut the fuck up."
Ryon, impersonating cheering worms: "Yeaaah!"
Felicia, impersonating cheering worms: "Pencil dick! Yay for me!"
Felicia, picking level theme: "No, I don't like peg boards. Oh, splotchies. Splotchies. Scabies. Herpes. Syphilis. Chlamydia."
Ryon: "Alright, now I gotta look around. [singing to Total Eclipse of the Heart] Look arouuund—"
Felicia, singing: "Every now and then I get a little bit [unintelligible]"
Felicia: "Alright, I need to somehow get up your bucket."
Ryon: "That looked so much different when I ran it through my head."
Felicia: "I wanna prod you. I feel like I wanna prod you. Like up the butt."
Ryon: "Just don't even go there. Don't—"
Felicia: "I just— I wanna try— I wanna see what—"
Ryon: "You shouldn't even say those sorts of things."
Felicia: "What just happened? Nothing happened. [launches a missile as Ryon's character] Oh!"
Ryon: "What did you— augh!"
Felicia: "I'm sorry! There was nothing happening!"
Ryon: "God you're the worst!"
Felicia: "There was nothing happening. Now it's my turn again."
Felicia, eating cookies: "Why is there a cat hair in here?"
Ryon: "It's organic cat hair. Organic Trader Joe's cat hair."
Ryon: "Why even bother with a new weap— Well, let's see what else I got."
Felicia: "Yeah, just go for the standard bullshit cheap shit that you do, you piece of shit. I'm out there adventuring, trying to find different ways to kill you. You're like [mocking noises]. [chokes on cookies]"
Felicia, after Ryon puts tub of cookies in her lap: "I don't wanna hold these! Get your own cookies! I'm not your cookie bitch!"
Ryon: "This is certainly some irritating fucking bullshit, did you know that?"
Felicia: "You died! You died!"
Ryon: "I know! No, you died!"
Felicia, laughing: "Why did I die!? Why did I die!?"
Ryon, laughing: "Everybody dies! And you die! And you die! And you get some dynamite! And you! And you!"
Felicia: "Look at you, pencil dick. Fucking jumping for joy! [in worm voice] 'Pencil. Pencil dick! Ahhh!' Well, congratulations, pencil dick."
Felicia: "50 pencil dicks / double worm thumbs up"
Ryon: "33 growers not showers"
|0:00||"This week" preview|
|0:23||"Product Placement of the Week"|
|24:42||Rating and outro|
- Worms Armageddon - Retro Let's Play: Co-Optitude Ep 25 on YouTube
- Worms Armageddon on Wikipedia
- TableTop (web series) on Wikipedia
- Coolio - Fantastic Voyage on YouTube - Felicia's line "I ain't go no car" refers to the opening of this video
- The Pointer Sisters - Jump (For My Love) (Official Video) on YouTube
- Bonnie Tyler - Total Eclipse of the Heart (Video) on YouTube