Episode 25

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Felicia and Ryon play Worms Armageddon.

Episode 25 title card.jpg

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Worms Armageddon
Platform PlayStation
Published Hasbro Interactive, 1999
Hosts Felicia Day
Ryon Day
Director Sean Becker
Executive producers Felicia Day
Sheri Bryant
Editing James Deuling
Graphics Steven Sprinkles
Music Jason Charles Miller
Production assistant Annie Liu
Stats (as of January 12, 2020)
First aired December 9, 2013
Duration 25:24
Views 260,724
Likes 7,502
Comments 1,153


Ryon: "Is there a way I can get my own TableTop mug that I can enjoy my daily hot cup of coffee in?"

Felicia, woodenly to camera: "What a coincidence, Ryon."

Ryon: "Goodness."

Felicia: "There is a way to purchase this mug on the Geek & Sundry website."

Ryon: "Please tell me more! I'm interested!"

Felicia: "If you want to be a virtual player of TableTop, you can go to geekandsundry.com/store and get one of these amazing mugs for the low price of [makes bleeping noises]. So if you enjoy TableTop mugs, or if you— [laughing]"

Ryon: "Are you a Topper? Show your support by getting a TableTop mug!"

Felicia: "A Topper?"

Ryon: "A Topper!"

Felicia: "Topper?"

Ryon: "Fans of TableTop, the hit YouTube series starring Wil Wheaton!"

Felicia, pretending to sip from mug: "Mmm, that's good."

Felicia: "And may I mention, [points to hair] look at this. New console, new hair. I'm sure two or three of you will express your opinion about it. I feel really good, except I feel like— It's a little phantom-limb-syndrome back here. I do tend to wear more long earrings to kinda simulate the idea."

Ryon: "So you're running your fingers through your long, dangly earrings?"

Felicia: "Yeah. Think I'm gonna keep it and not grow it out. Do you care? Not really."

Ryon: "Whole bunch of baggage train just wrecked in that conversation, but that's okay."

Felicia: "So, um, should we read the manual? No."

Ryon: "Nope. Never."

Felicia: "Let's not change the show that much. New platform, new hair. That's quite enough."

Felicia: "We play worms, and it's gonna be hard not to make little chubby penis jokes, I'm just telling you right now."

Ryon: "So that'll be the first and only."

Felicia: "First and only! Just trying to get it out."

Ryon: "We're gonna play it straight."

Felicia: "Play it straight."

Ryon: "They're not little chubby penises. They're fleshy worms. That's all they are."

Felicia: "They're not really worms. Worms have— I don't know. Okay, let's not talk about it."

Ryon: "What— I kinda wanna talk about this. What do worms not have in comparison to penises?"

Felicia: "Well, they're just proportional. They don't have a bigger head than a back. You know? They're just basically the same thickness the whole way. And this worm is a little more well-endowed on the brain end."

Felicia: "Uh, two? God, you can play with six people? Five people."

Ryon: "That's four."

Felicia: "Two, three, and four. Oh yeah. I'm sorry, lots of penises together look like multiple more penises. I mean worms."

Ryon: "Is that a situation you're faced with often?"

Felicia: "Well, more than two's just a gang. [to camera] Let's never use that."

Felicia: "Alright, we're gettin' the hung of it. The hung of it."

Ryon: "Because they're little penises? Right?"

Felicia: "Yeah. Yeah— No, we're not saying that anymore!"

Felicia: "I don't know how to get there. I ain't got no car."

Ryon, laughing: "Fucking who are you, Coolio?"

Felicia: "Jump! Jump! For my love. [shout-singing through gritted teeth] Jump in! Jump in my heart! Can make you happy! Jump! I know what it takes!"

Ryon: "Oh, it worked. It worked. The Eurythmics. What is it, Eurythmics?"

Felicia, shout-singing: "[unintelligible] in the night dear! Jump! Jump my love!"

Felicia: "It's the Pointer Sisters! Get your shit together!"

Felicia, reading GameFAQs about best weapons: "'Indian nuclear test, the concrete donkey, and armageddon are considered good.' I don't even know."

Ryon: "Those all sound like exotic sex positions. The concrete donkey?"

Felicia: "Alright, I don't think looking up instructions— I mean, if we wanted to have a three-week training session in Worms—"

Ryon: "That's not what Co-Optitude's all about."

Felicia: "Co-Optitude is about, uh, us stumbling through— I don't know what it's about. It's about— It's all about family. [laughs]"

Ryon: "Co-Optitude is about family and friends and good times and drinking tea from the coffee mug from a wonderful other Geek & Sundry show."

Ryon: "God!"

Felicia, laughing: "It's amazing. It's amazing."

Ryon: "Just get over there, penis."

Felicia: "We weren't gonna say they're penises! We weren't gonna do it! We're gonna be better than that!"

Ryon: "No, penis!"

Felicia: "We were gonna be better and more mature! Finally, a new fresher Co-Optitude!"

Felicia: "You know worms on sidewalks? I always move them off. Just 'cause it's karma. One day, when you're dead you're—"

Ryon: "Not anymore. I'm gonna fucking kill every worm I see on the sidewalk. This is just the worst. Okay, well, I don't even know what to do now."

Felicia: "I always move them, and I put them in the wet grass. I put a little leaf on them."

Felicia: "I love the holy grenade! That was great, and the sound effect? Did you hear that?"

Ryon: "Yeah, I heard it. Just fuck off. Shut it. Shut the fuck up."

Ryon, impersonating cheering worms: "Yeaaah!"

Felicia, impersonating cheering worms: "Pencil dick! Yay for me!"

Felicia, picking level theme: "No, I don't like peg boards. Oh, splotchies. Splotchies. Scabies. Herpes. Syphilis. Chlamydia."

Ryon: "Alright, now I gotta look around. [singing to Total Eclipse of the Heart] Look arouuund—"

Felicia, singing: "Every now and then I get a little bit [unintelligible]"

Felicia: "Alright, I need to somehow get up your bucket."

Ryon: "That looked so much different when I ran it through my head."

Felicia: "I wanna prod you. I feel like I wanna prod you. Like up the butt."

Ryon: "Just don't even go there. Don't—"

Felicia: "I just— I wanna try— I wanna see what—"

Ryon: "You shouldn't even say those sorts of things."

Felicia: "What just happened? Nothing happened. [launches a missile as Ryon's character] Oh!"

Ryon: "What did you— augh!"

Felicia: "I'm sorry! There was nothing happening!"

Ryon: "God you're the worst!"

Felicia: "There was nothing happening. Now it's my turn again."

Felicia, eating cookies: "Why is there a cat hair in here?"

Ryon: "It's organic cat hair. Organic Trader Joe's cat hair."

Ryon: "Why even bother with a new weap— Well, let's see what else I got."

Felicia: "Yeah, just go for the standard bullshit cheap shit that you do, you piece of shit. I'm out there adventuring, trying to find different ways to kill you. You're like [mocking noises]. [chokes on cookies]"

Felicia, after Ryon puts tub of cookies in her lap: "I don't wanna hold these! Get your own cookies! I'm not your cookie bitch!"

Ryon: "This is certainly some irritating fucking bullshit, did you know that?"

Felicia: "You died! You died!"

Ryon: "I know! No, you died!"

Felicia, laughing: "Why did I die!? Why did I die!?"

Ryon, laughing: "Everybody dies! And you die! And you die! And you get some dynamite! And you! And you!"

Felicia: "Look at you, pencil dick. Fucking jumping for joy! [in worm voice] 'Pencil. Pencil dick! Ahhh!' Well, congratulations, pencil dick."


Felicia: "50 pencil dicks / double worm thumbs up"

Ryon: "33 growers not showers"

Cue points

0:00 "This week" preview
0:14 Opening theme
0:23 "Product Placement of the Week"
1:08 Host intro
2:57 Game begins
24:42 Rating and outro
25:14 End card/promo
25:21 Closing theme
25:24 End video


Bonus content

How Would You Arm Your Worms? - Co-Optitude Bonus Content

External links


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