Felicia and Ryon play Chip 'n Dale Rescue Rangers.
|Chip 'n Dale Rescue Rangers|
|Executive producers||Felicia Day
|Music||Jason Charles Miller|
|Production assistant||Annie Liu|
|Stats (as of January 12, 2020)|
|First aired||October 14, 2013|
Felicia: "I am a fan of chipmunks and— in person, authentic chipmunks."
Ryon: "You're pro-chipmunk."
Felicia: "I'm pro-chipmunk."
Ryon: "Pro-chip. You're a chipper."
Felicia: "I'm not a chipper."
Ryon: "You're not a chipper?"
Felicia: "Would you say I'm a chipper?"
Ryon: "I don't know. How into chipmunks are you?"
Felicia: "If I were a furry I'd play a chipmunk."
Ryon: "That's pretty into chipmunks."
Felicia, reading Wikipedia: "'Chip 'n Dale first appeared in a cartoon, Private Pluto, in '43. The touring dance troupe started in '79.' Okay?"
Ryon, laughing: "So they're like, 'Let's name some male strippers after the cartoons.'"
Felicia: "Yes. This is the thing though. Um, I don't think they have a video game starring the Chippendales. If there is one, we're playing it."
Ryon: "If there is one, we're playing it next week."
Felicia: "Let me tell you a little bit about Alvin and the Chipmunks. Alvin is the singer. He's the precocious one. Simon— They were part of a long lore of single men living with animals in the '80s."
Ryon: "Desperate single men—"
Felicia: "Okay, so Dave and Alvin, Jim and Garfield, Man in the Yellow Hat and Curious George. Can you name other single, put-upon men with wacky—"
Ryon: "Post a YouTube comment!"
Felicia: "Post a YouTube comment with—"
Ryon, as commenter: "'Hey, fucker, you forgot this obvious one!'"
Ryon, reading: "'Our cute little neighbor, Mandy.' Oh, they wanna tap that ass."
Felicia: "I never understood the bug companion. What is that guy? He's a fly? His lifespan would be like two days."
Ryon, laughing: "He keeps a bunch of fly eggs, like—"
Felicia: "He hatches a new one. He's like, 'Come on out!'"
Ryon: "They don't even have a name. It's just a number. Ya know? He's like up to number 547 right now."
Felicia: "Gadget's the girl. She's the mouse, who they cannot have trans-species sex with. It just won't work. Their baby would be a mutant."
Ryon: "Oh, Zipper. Zipper 547."
Felicia: "Why are we bothering? Just let the robot overlords rule us."
Ryon: "We gotta take this seriously. We really have to take this seriously."
Felicia: "We gotta get a degree in this."
Ryon: "Zone 0! We finally got past zone 0. They dare not even start it at 1."
Ryon: "Okay, I'll get the flowers and then you—"
Felicia: "And you get all the one-ups? Yeah, that's a really good—"
Ryon: "You turn the faucet handle and I'll do the flowers."
Felicia: "I do all the work and you do all the fucking—"
Ryon: "There ya go. See how well this teamwork works out?"
Felicia: "This is the most unclean kitchen I've ever seen in my life."
Ryon, laughing: "It's got all sorts of flies. It's got all kinds of like disgusting vermin. It's got chipmunks in the stew."
Felicia: "You know what, chipmunks have glands. I'm gonna rub my glands all over these— Look at these glasses. They're gonna be served to customers. I'm just gonna— [rubbing gesture]"
Ryon, laughing: "Yeah, that's right. Poop-poop-poop-poop-poop-poop-poop-poop-poop-poop-poop. Poop-poop-poop-poop-poop."
Felicia: "'How did I get this sore on my mouth?' Chipmunk glands."
Ryon: "I went to eat at my favorite restaurant in LA. I got chipmunk disease. Chip 'n Dale are patient zero."
Ryon: "Oh, can't even touch water."
Felicia: "Whoa. Water is bad for chipmunks. They never bathe. Their glands can't take it."
Ryon: "Oh, in the pot!"
Felicia: "'What is that flavor? It's so musky.'"
Ryon: "Yeah, 'It's so good!'"
Felicia: "'It's so musky.'"
Ryon, laughing: "'Musky.'"
Felicia: "God, why can't we better than this? Why didn't our mother teach us younger so our hand-eye coordination was better?"
Ryon: "You know what? We should play a game we'd be good at, like Dr. Mario or Tetris. We'd be idiot savants. They'd be like, 'Wow, those guys are legit after all. Maybe they're not fake geeks.'"
Felicia: "'They're fake geeks!'"
Ryon: "'Can they play Chip 'n Dale Rescue Rangers?'"
Felicia: "'So fucking fake. You don't know every Pokémon ever? Fuck off.'"
Ryon: "Rubber balls are the only thing standing between Earth and alien invasion. And the fact the aliens are like an inch tall."
Sean Becker, off-camera: "I remember being 8 and passing this game."
Ryon: "Good, now I have a data point, Sean."
Sean: "I'm gonna jump in and be a ringer."
Felicia: "You're just gonna get us past because we're so bad?"
Ryon: "Like our controllers aren't plugged in and Sean's like hiding back there?"
Felicia, watching Sean play: "God, this is what everybody wants from Co-Optitude. Competence, skill."
Felicia: "Oh, this is fun. The less I talk, the better I am. I just wanna be honest."
Ryon: "I agree. The less you talk, the better things are in general."
Ryon, about owl boss dropping harmful feathers: "Because nothing hurts like a feather."
Felicia: "Avoid the feathers. They're sharp. They're like razors."
Felicia: "Bye, owl! So much for your wisdom or your lollypop licking."
Felicia: "Oh, here we go, because nothing says 'library' like a kangaroo playing badminton."
Ryon: "Oh, library vultures."
Felicia: "We're gonna finish our last continue. We are not gonna give up. We are Chip 'n Dale Rescue Rangers. We will have ten to fifteen chipmunk animals—"
Ryon: "And eat five."
Ryon: "It would be 10 chipmunk pups up, but they ate 5 of them, so 5 chipmunk pups up"
Felicia: "5 of these faces [puffs up cheeks]"
|0:00||"This week" preview|
|6:00||"Lunch Pick of the Week"|
|11:06||Sean Becker comes in as a ringer|
|15:14||Rating and outro|
- Felicia Day Plays Chip 'n Dale Rescue Rangers with Ryon on Co-Optitude Ep 19 on YouTube
- Chip 'n Dale Rescue Rangers (video game) on Wikipedia