Episode 30

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X-Men Legends
Platform Gamecube
Published Activision, 2004
Credits
Hosts Felicia Day
Ryon Day
Director Sean Becker
Executive producers Felicia Day
Sheri Bryant
Editing Chris Willett
Graphics Steven Sprinkles
Music Jason Charles Miller
Production assistant Annie Liu
Stats (as of January 12, 2020)
First aired January 13, 2014
Duration 14:33
Views 210,595
Likes 6,563
Comments 932


This is a two-part game play-through with part 2 in Episode 31.

The latter part of the episode features a fan favorite string of observations about Cyclops and Wolverine captured below in Quotes.

Quotes

Felicia: "Have you read a lot of the comics?"

Ryon: "I used to watch the Saturday morning cartoon."

Felicia: "Okay, so you qualify."

Ryon: "Yup, that makes me a PhD in X-Men-ologoy. X-Person-ology."

Felicia: "Mutant studies. Just mutant studies."


Felicia: "How great would life be if there were real mutants?"

Ryon: "I'm thinking it'd be pretty good if you were one. But like I would feel so bad about myself if I were a normal. Well, I think I'd try to find anything unusual about myself and call it my mutant power. Like I'd be like, 'My fingernails grow a little faster than normal. I have the gene.'"


Felicia: "Oh, we can kill pots! I love this game so much!"


Ryon: "I wonder if Wolverine's claws ever extend without his conscious effort."

Felicia: "Like when he sees a really pretty girl?"

Ryon: "Exactly, like if he gets a claw boner."


Felicia: "You're going to play this character, and I'm gonna play Rogue or—"

Ryon: "Once again, you're like a little girl in front of a tea set. [little girl voice] 'Now Mister Bear, you're gonna have the Earl Grey. Ryon, you're gonna play Wolverine.'"


Ryon, regarding huge foot prints on the ground: "Those clearly are not bare foot prints, right, so he clearly has boots. So where the [fuck] do you get boots like that?"

Felicia: "It's like a custom order."

Ryon: "It's like he calls up Shaq, and he's like, 'Shaq, buddy, where do you get your shoes?'"


Ryon: "Health it up!"

Felicia: "Yeah, three people at once is not good. [both laughing] Pro tip."


Felicia, throwing enemy around: "Get in the fountain! Get in the fountain! Get in the fountain! Get out of the fountain! I changed my mind! Get in the river!"


Ryon, during Mystique fight: "Wait, we gotta equip some [shit]."

Felicia: "Oh, sorry, Mystique!"

Ryon: "Sorry, Mystique! Hold it! Hold on, missy!"

Wolverine versus Cyclops

Ryon: "But like Cyclops is just this kind of lawful good, uptight—"

Felicia: "I never— Not a fan, not a fan."

Ryon: "—uptight, lawful good dude, and it's like 1 point into insufferable moralizing, you know?"

Felicia: "I know, it's just no fun. You don't wanna get him drunk in Vegas, that's all I gotta say."

Ryon: "No, see, I bet he'd be an animal drunk."


Ryon: "'Xtraction Point'. I never get— See, it's possible to be a superhero and have a sense of humor too, you know what I mean? There's no reason you can't have a little fun."

Felicia: "Well, Cyclops can't."

Ryon: "Yeah, Cyclops can't."

Felicia: "Wolverine does have a sense of humor."

Ryon: "Cyclops reads Chicken Soup for the Soul books."


Ryon: "Cyclops listens to Prairie Home Companion and loves it."


Ryon: "I think Cyclops's favorite movie is some John Wayne film."


Ryon: "He watches 60 Minutes every day."

Felicia: "He tries to be socially conscious."

Ryon: "He doesn't recycle or compost though. I get the feeling he's kind of a mid-level conservative. He drives a Prius, but […] it's for gas mileage, not because it's environmentally friendly."


Ryon: "Wolverine has 'Logan' in gothic letters on the rear window of his car."


Felicia: "Wolverine puts detail striping on his car, and people did it for free just because he's cool."


Ryon: "I think Cyclops likes Applebee's."


Ryon: "I bet he shops at, uh—"

Felicia: "Costco."

Ryon: "Brooks Brothers, but he only gets the polos."


Felicia: "He wears tighty whities."

Ryon: "Yeah, he wears Fruit of the Loom cottons, and he wears docksiders."

Felicia: "What about Wolverine? Wolverine's silk."

Ryon: "No, Wolverine goes commando. I guarantee Wolverine goes commando, guaranteed."

Felicia: "Okay, you're right, you're right."


Ryon: "I think Cyclops has read all of Tom Clancy's novels and likes them all."


Ryon: "Cyclops has pleats on his khakis."


Ryon: "He wears Dockers, and his loafers have tassels."


Felicia: "Wolverine knows the guy who owns Ed Hardy and he—"

Ryon: "Wolverine totally wears Ed Hardy and Affliction! Totally! Without any irony!"

Felicia: "No irony! And he carries it off well. He's one of the few humans."

Ryon: "Wolverine is the guy who Ed Hardy was made for."


Ryon: "Cyclops would get a tattoo, but never in a publicly visible place."

Felicia: "He has a little tramp stamp with his mom's name on it."

Ryon: "It's 'mom' with a heart."


Ryon: "Cyclops thinks that wearing Chuck Taylors is daring. When he buys sneakers they're pure just white sneakers. That's all he wears. He also wears cotton socks with his sneakers."


Ryon: "Wolverine has a chain wallet."


Ryon: "Cyclops goes to the barber, not the stylist."

Felicia: "Wolverine lets the girl he picked up last night cut his hair."


Ryon: "Cyclops wears Old Spice, or on dates, English Leather."

Felicia: "Wolverine has his own cologne custom made, and part of it is his own sweat."

Ryon: "Wolverine buys pheromones from an online dealer."


Felicia: "'Danger Room Disc'? What is that?"

Ryon: "It's the new album, by Danger Room! That's too edgy for Cyclops though."

Felicia: "Cyclops listens to smooth jazz."

Ryon: "Except when he really wants to cut loose, then he listens to the Black Eyed Peas."

Felicia: "Wolverine's favorite band was just playing as the drummer in Iron Maiden."

Ryon: "When Iron Maiden sings Virus live it's Wolverine on the mic, not Bruce Dickinson. All you Iron Maiden fans know what I'm talking about."


Ryon: "If you had gotten superpowers when we were kids, I would not be alive today. Fact."

Felicia: "Really? What would you have done?"

Ryon: "You would have killed me by now. You would have found me like cooked or something like that in my bed."

Cue points

0:00 "This week" preview
0:10 Opening theme
0:19 Host intro
1:33 Game begins
3:47 "Overly confident moment of the week"
13:53 Outro
14:24 End card/promo
14:31 Closing theme
14:33 End video

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