Episode 42

Barbie Race & Ride

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Platform	Playstation
Published	Mattel Media, 1999
Mary-Kate and Ashley's Winner's Circle
Platform	Playstation
Published	Club Acclaim, 2001
Credits
Hosts	Felicia Day Ryon Day
Director	Sean Becker
Executive producers	Felicia Day Sheri Bryant
Editing	Andrew Jewell
Graphics	Steven Sprinkles
Music	Jason Charles Miller
Production assistant	Annie Liu
Stats (as of January 12, 2020)
First aired	April 21, 2014
Duration	14:19
Views	142,636
Likes	3,244
Comments	405

This episode features games for girls.

Quotes

Barbie Race & Ride

Ryon: "Oh, this is going to be so good. This looks like an episode of Robot Chicken. It's like Optimus Prime is gonna come around."

Ryon, as Barbie: "'Ranch dressing is all I eat, along with ice cubes and iceberg lettuce. We have to find the ranch dressing.'"

Felicia, looking at the game settings: "'Parental settings'? Is this for nudity??"

Ryon: "We don't want to see Barbie's nippleless breasts or smooth—"

Felicia: "'Vibrating function'?? Okay, wait!"

Ryon: "Is that under the parental options?"

Felicia: "YES!! It's under the parental options to have—! We gotta turn vibrating—"

Ryon: "It can't be! It can't be!"

Felicia: "Turn it on. Turn it on."

Ryon: "Fuck yeah, we'll turn it on."

Barbie, in game: "Ha ha, she loves to give me kisses, and she really likes to jump!"

Felicia: "I don't trust her voice when she did that little giggle."

Ryon: "Tee hee! Kisses! Horses have long tongues! Hee hee!"

Felicia, browsing list of horse names: "How many are there? 'Ginger', 'Lily', 'Lady'—"

Ryon: "This game is off the HOOK! It's off the HOOK, yo! [misreads Poppy] 'Poopy'??"

Felicia: "Poopy!"

Ryon: "It's close enough!"

Ryon, reading name: "'Sassy'? Okay"

Game, reading selected name: "Sassy! Shadow! Silver! Shad— Sassy!"

Ryon: "Also, these are the same names in the stripper simulator. 'What do you want to name your stripper?'"

Game: "Candy!"

Ryon: "This looks like the title card for a porno. And the name [The Riding Lesson] also."

Felicia: "The Riding Lesson. Sassy and Poppy star in The Riding Lesson."

Barbie: "Looks like some kind of game!"

Ryon, as Barbie: "'Looks like the grave stones of small children!'"

Felicia: "Well, can I go in the cave? Could I explore? No, you gotta stay on the straight and narrow, little girl. Don't explore! Don't have any freedom! We're gonna give you a perception of freedom and free will, but really you should do what your parents say."

Felicia: "Okay, first there's a beaver puzzle, then we're finding the right holes."

Ryon: "I'd be good at that."

Mary Kate and Ashley's Winner's Circle

Felicia: "Just tell me where to go, guys."

Off-camera: "There's dots on the ground!!"

Felicia: "Where?"

Off-camera: "Where there are dots on the ground."

Felicia: "Right here!"

Ryon: "There's really no other way to put it more clearly than 'there's dots on the ground.'"

Felicia: "Alright, turn around."

Ryon, singing: "Turn arouuund. Every little horse—"

Ryon: "Why are you swerving at the last second? Your horse is like, 'Uh-UH, bitch! Ain't all the carrots in the world gonna make me jump over that motherfucker."

Ryon: "So, um, there's 46 gates left. Do you want to call it right now?"

Felicia: "Guys, if there are other games you would like us to play in the future—"

Ryon: "Any horse-related games—"

Felicia: "Any horse-related games that you would recommend that would further Ryon's pleasure of jumping through, ya know, gates and shit—"

Ryon: "Or any other stars of Full House that made video games—"

Felicia: "If there is a John Stamos video game—"

Ryon: "Ooh. Yeah, leave it in the comments."

Felicia: "I wanna play that."

Character names

Barbie Race & Ride

Felicia: "Poppy" ("It's close enough [to Poopy]!")
Ryon: "Sassy"

Mary-Kate and Ashley's Winner's Circle

Felicia: "Peupi"

Rating

Felicia: "2 identical thumbs up"

Ryon: "2 cracked-out thumbs up"

Cue points

0:00	"This week" preview
0:13	Opening theme
0:22	Host intro
0:59	Barbie Race & Ride begins
7:56	Mary-Kate and Ashley's Winner's Circle begins
8:40	"Blague de Caca of the week"
12:43	"Catch of the week"
13:35	Rating and outro
14:09	End card/promo
14:17	Closing theme
14:19	End video

Trivia

Felicia tells a story of her relation to Mary-Kate and Ashley at the top of their game segment: "One of my very first auditions was in the summer of 2001 when this particular game probably came out, I auditioned four times for this movie to be their best friend, for Mary-Kate and Ashley and their mom. The other girl got it. But, true story, the other girl broke her leg severely in a snow mobile accident during filming, so I was like, glad I didn't take that job. Glad they didn't wanna be my friend."

Gallery

Felicia and Ryon introducing the episode
Holding up the games' cases
Felicia reacting to the vibration function under "parental settings"
Ryon and Felicia's stripper names
Sassy and Poppy in The Riding Lesson
Felicia relaxing due to the lack of agency in the horse riding in Barbie Race & Ride
Washing the horse
Failed attempt #17 at the same jump