Episode 19

Felicia and Ryon play Chip 'n Dale Rescue Rangers.

Chip 'n Dale Rescue Rangers

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Platform	NES
Published	Capcom, 1990
Credits
Hosts	Felicia Day Ryon Day
Director	Sean Becker
Executive producers	Felicia Day Sheri Bryant
Editing	Sean Becker James Deuling
Graphics	Steven Sprinkles
Music	Jason Charles Miller
Production assistant	Annie Liu
Stats (as of January 12, 2020)
First aired	October 14, 2013
Duration	16:22
Views	183,832
Likes	5,242
Comments	859

Quotes

Felicia: "I am a fan of chipmunks and— in person, authentic chipmunks."

Ryon: "You're pro-chipmunk."

Felicia: "I'm pro-chipmunk."

Ryon: "Pro-chip. You're a chipper."

Felicia: "I'm not a chipper."

Ryon: "You're not a chipper?"

Felicia: "Would you say I'm a chipper?"

Ryon: "I don't know. How into chipmunks are you?"

Felicia: "If I were a furry I'd play a chipmunk."

Ryon: "That's pretty into chipmunks."

Felicia, reading Wikipedia: "'Chip 'n Dale first appeared in a cartoon, Private Pluto, in '43. The touring dance troupe started in '79.' Okay?"

Ryon, laughing: "So they're like, 'Let's name some male strippers after the cartoons.'"

Felicia: "Yes. This is the thing though. Um, I don't think they have a video game starring the Chippendales. If there is one, we're playing it."

Ryon: "If there is one, we're playing it next week."

Felicia: "Let me tell you a little bit about Alvin and the Chipmunks. Alvin is the singer. He's the precocious one. Simon— They were part of a long lore of single men living with animals in the '80s."

Ryon: "Desperate single men—"

Felicia: "Okay, so Dave and Alvin, Jim and Garfield, Man in the Yellow Hat and Curious George. Can you name other single, put-upon men with wacky—"

Ryon: "Post a YouTube comment!"

Felicia: "Post a YouTube comment with—"

Ryon, as commenter: "'Hey, fucker, you forgot this obvious one!'"

Ryon, reading: "'Our cute little neighbor, Mandy.' Oh, they wanna tap that ass."

Felicia: "I never understood the bug companion. What is that guy? He's a fly? His lifespan would be like two days."

Ryon, laughing: "He keeps a bunch of fly eggs, like—"

Felicia: "He hatches a new one. He's like, 'Come on out!'"

Ryon: "They don't even have a name. It's just a number. Ya know? He's like up to number 547 right now."

Felicia: "Gadget's the girl. She's the mouse, who they cannot have trans-species sex with. It just won't work. Their baby would be a mutant."

Ryon: "Oh, Zipper. Zipper 547."

Felicia: "Why are we bothering? Just let the robot overlords rule us."

Ryon: "We gotta take this seriously. We really have to take this seriously."

Felicia: "We gotta get a degree in this."

Ryon: "Zone 0! We finally got past zone 0. They dare not even start it at 1."

Ryon: "Okay, I'll get the flowers and then you—"

Felicia: "And you get all the one-ups? Yeah, that's a really good—"

Ryon: "You turn the faucet handle and I'll do the flowers."

Felicia: "I do all the work and you do all the fucking—"

Ryon: "There ya go. See how well this teamwork works out?"

Felicia: "This is the most unclean kitchen I've ever seen in my life."

Ryon, laughing: "It's got all sorts of flies. It's got all kinds of like disgusting vermin. It's got chipmunks in the stew."

Felicia: "You know what, chipmunks have glands. I'm gonna rub my glands all over these— Look at these glasses. They're gonna be served to customers. I'm just gonna— [rubbing gesture]"

Ryon, laughing: "Yeah, that's right. Poop-poop-poop-poop-poop-poop-poop-poop-poop-poop-poop. Poop-poop-poop-poop-poop."

Felicia: "'How did I get this sore on my mouth?' Chipmunk glands."

Ryon: "I went to eat at my favorite restaurant in LA. I got chipmunk disease. Chip 'n Dale are patient zero."

Ryon: "Oh, can't even touch water."

Felicia: "Whoa. Water is bad for chipmunks. They never bathe. Their glands can't take it."

Ryon: "Oh, in the pot!"

Felicia: "'What is that flavor? It's so musky.'"

Ryon: "Yeah, 'It's so good!'"

Felicia: "'It's so musky.'"

Ryon, laughing: "'Musky.'"

Felicia: "God, why can't we better than this? Why didn't our mother teach us younger so our hand-eye coordination was better?"

Ryon: "You know what? We should play a game we'd be good at, like Dr. Mario or Tetris. We'd be idiot savants. They'd be like, 'Wow, those guys are legit after all. Maybe they're not fake geeks.'"

Felicia: "'They're fake geeks!'"

Ryon: "'Can they play Chip 'n Dale Rescue Rangers?'"

Felicia: "'So fucking fake. You don't know every Pokémon ever? Fuck off.'"

Ryon: "Rubber balls are the only thing standing between Earth and alien invasion. And the fact the aliens are like an inch tall."

Sean Becker, off-camera: "I remember being 8 and passing this game."

Ryon: "Good, now I have a data point, Sean."

Sean: "I'm gonna jump in and be a ringer."

Felicia: "You're just gonna get us past because we're so bad?"

Ryon: "Like our controllers aren't plugged in and Sean's like hiding back there?"

Felicia, watching Sean play: "God, this is what everybody wants from Co-Optitude. Competence, skill."

Felicia: "Oh, this is fun. The less I talk, the better I am. I just wanna be honest."

Ryon: "I agree. The less you talk, the better things are in general."

Ryon, about owl boss dropping harmful feathers: "Because nothing hurts like a feather."

Felicia: "Avoid the feathers. They're sharp. They're like razors."

Felicia: "Bye, owl! So much for your wisdom or your lollypop licking."

Felicia: "Oh, here we go, because nothing says 'library' like a kangaroo playing badminton."

Ryon: "Oh, library vultures."

Felicia: "We're gonna finish our last continue. We are not gonna give up. We are Chip 'n Dale Rescue Rangers. We will have ten to fifteen chipmunk animals—"

Ryon: "And eat five."

Rating

Ryon: "It would be 10 chipmunk pups up, but they ate 5 of them, so 5 chipmunk pups up"

Felicia: "5 of these faces [puffs up cheeks]"

Cue points

0:00	"This week" preview
0:06	Opening theme
0:15	Host intro
3:07	Game begins
6:00	"Lunch Pick of the Week"
11:06	Sean Becker comes in as a ringer
15:14	Rating and outro
15:49	End card/promo
16:15	Closing theme
16:22	End video