Episode 17

Felicia and Ryon play The Legend of the Mystical Ninja.

The Legend of the Mystical Ninja

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Platform	SNES
Published	Konami, 1992
Credits
Hosts	Felicia Day Ryon Day
Director	Sean Becker
Executive producers	Felicia Day Sheri Bryant
Editing	Sean Becker James Deuling
Graphics	Steven Sprinkles
Music	Jason Charles Miller
Production assistant	Annie Liu
Stats (as of January 12, 2020)
First aired	September 30, 2013
Duration	15:36
Views	162,395
Likes	3,732
Comments	722

Quotes

Felicia: "He's my brother."

Ryon: "She's my sister."

Felicia: "And we play retro games."

Ryon: "There's gonna be a YouTube comment saying 'Are they related?' Just kinda nip that in the bud."

Felicia: "Every single episode, I'm like, it's very clear that he's my brother. Guys, read… anything."

Ryon: "It's out of love."

Felicia: "It really is. But I don't know what else to do. We're related."

Ryon: "Yeah, we need a FAQ."

Ryon: "I love ninjas."

Felicia: "Love ninja movies. I enjoy a lot of ninja fiction."

Ryon: "Ninja fanfic, written several."

Felicia: "Ninja-Harry Potter fanfic."

Ryon: "Snape killed Dumbledore with a throwing star."

Felicia, to Ryon: "What is with your face?"

Ryon: "What are you talking about?"

Felicia: "Did you— Are you trying to grow a Fu Manchu?"

Ryon: "What? No. It's a Fred Manchu."

Felicia, reading: "'Hey, Kid Ying, have you heard the news?'"

Ryon, yelling as he reads the giant text: "'WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?' 'YOU KNOW, ABOUT THAT BEAUTIFUL GIRL.' 'OH, YOU MEAN THE GHOST WOMAN.'"

Felicia: "Shh."

Ryon: "Sorry. 'YEAH, THAT'S THE ONE.'"

Felicia: "You have the same facial hair as that guy."

Ryon: "That's awesome. We have the visually-impaired option on."

Felicia: "[gasps] We can buy things!? Oh, I'm so happy."

Ryon: "This is gonna take thirty minutes for you to try everything on."

Felicia: "Shut up."

Ryon, putting hand on hip: "Women! Am I right?"

Felicia: "Okay, just light 'em up. Light 'em up. Light 'em up. Light 'em up. I want everything. I want fish. I want turnips. Everything."

Ryon: "Don't let anybody touch you, and touch everybody, except women."

Ryon: "Heyyy. [reading] 'A strange cloud is coming from…' my ass"

Felicia, at same time: "…my butt."

Ryon: "Oh, don't hit her! She's gonna take your money. Oh! If you pick her up she gives you money."

Felicia: "What!?"

Ryon: "Like, pick her up. Fifty dollars!"

Felicia: "Fifty dollars!? What is she, a prostitute?"

Ryon: "She's like a reverse prostitute. She gives you money and stays away."

Felicia: "Come here. Pick you up. I cannot believe you just run over women and you get money."

Ryon, reading: "'Press (A) to a life.'"

Ryon: "Alright, I want some sandals. How many sandals? Ten sandals. Sandals. Sandals. Sandals. Sandals."

Felicia: "You're so annoying me right now! Can you just get—"

Ryon: "Sandals. Sandals. Sandals. Pizza. And pizza."

Felicia: "Can we go?"

Ryon: "Yeah. I'm done. I'm fast and I'm fed."

Ryon: "Sixty-dollar pizza night, at Store."

Ryon: "She's like doing like spinning plates, like Cirque du Soleil or something."

Ryon: "Well, we got this far because we're really good at this game."

Felicia: "So, I had a meltdown, and I was like"

Felicia, in flashback: "I am so irritated right now."

Felicia: "and we put a code in."

Felicia: "I don't know anything."

Felicia: "I don't feel like we're good people. We're going around this village, we're just kicking everybody in their face. And it feels like, they don't like it. We're not doing any good. That's what it feels like."

Felicia, reading: "'Which room would you like?' Let's get a suite. I'll get the suite. Where are you gonna stay?"

Ryon: "I guess I'll stay in the single. Fucking rat trap."

[both laughing]

Ryon: "Alright, well. You've even got two beds! You've even got two beds! You've got a double; I'm sleeping in the barn with the fucking livestock."

Felicia: "But you're old. You don't need comfort."

Ryon: "You make the old man sleep— Ah, get the fuck out."

Felicia: "You don't need comfort. You're old."

Ryon: "Did you say ruby curry, is that the one you got sick off of and can never eat again?"

Felicia: "Yeah, it was really good."

Ryon: "I'll get ruby curry."

Felicia: "Oh, it killed me."

Ryon: "All your hamburgers cannot save you."

Both laughing after discovering "slugging it"

Ryon: "How did we go this long without knowing that was a feature?"

Felicia: "I don't know. That's the most disturbing thing I've ever seen."

Ryon: "Just crawl back. Just scoot back. Just rub your dick on the floor all the way back. Feels good, man."

Felicia: "God, he loves rug burn. He loves it."

Ryon: "I'm gonna slug it. I'm sluggin' it."

Rating

Felicia: "15 noh masks"

Ryon: "15 creepy guys crawling out on their hands and shitting bombs out from the ceiling"

Cue points

0:00	"This week" preview
0:08	Opening theme
0:17	Host intro
1:24	Game begins
4:11	"Toilet Humor of the Week"
8:30	Cheat code time
11:45	"Lunch Pick of the Week"
15:03	Rating and outro
15:15	End card/promo
15:34	Closing theme
15:36	End video