Episode 83

Trauma Center: New Blood

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Platform	Wii
Published	Atlus USA, 2007
Credits
Hosts	Felicia Day Ryon Day
Director	Zac Eubank
Director of cinematography	Omer Ganai
Executive producers	Felicia Day Sheri Bryant
Editing	Aline Oliviera
Graphics	Natalia Daniels
Music	Jason Charles Miller
Production assistant	Becca Scott
Gaffer	David Thompson
Makeup	Cat Paschen
Production coordinator	Nick Appelbaum
Stats (as of January 12, 2020)
First aired	March 2, 2015
Duration	14:30
Views	156,212
Likes	3,678
Comments	326

Quotes

Felicia, with stethoscope: "I'm gonna listen to my heart while you introduce the game."

Ryon: "You're not gonna hear anything because you got no heart. And you're not gonna hear anything up there cause you have no brain. Snap. Ya burnt."

Felicia, reading: "'The Wii Remote is your scalpel.' Oh shit! No, for reals, I've played this game when I first got the Wii, and it's hard."

Ryon, feigning excitement: "For realsies??"

Felicia: "I hate you."

Felicia, in game menu: "'New game'."

Ryon: "Look, I wanna—"

Felicia, selecting skill: "'EASY'!"

Ryon, laughing: "'EASY!' You should narrate this shit."

Felicia: "Easy!!"

Felicia: "Wait, look at this simile. 'Watches over the town like an old man.'"

Ryon: "How do old men watch?"

Felicia: "How is that a valid simile? That's not something— Analogy? Which one is it?"

Ryon: "It's simile, cause it's similar."

Felicia: "As—"

Ryon: "A metaphor, you're saying the hospital is an old man watching over the town."

Felicia: "Are you sure?"

Ryon: "I am fucking 100% positive, dude."

Felicia: "Alright. Internet, talk to us."

Ryon: "Internet!"

Felicia: "I got a whole 400 comments on a picture that I posted of me and my brother, which should have been 'my brother and I,' and it was like the grammar police were all up in my grill."

Ryon: "I mean, that's really horrible, that was a horrible mistake though. Like I can actually see their point."

Felicia, sighing: "Okay, the analogies are crazy. It's 'swallowed by the jaws of fate.'"

Ryon: "That's a metaphor."

Felicia, laughing: "Okay. Good to know."

Ryon: "Okay, Bangs. Nurse Bangs is gonna bring him in."

Ryon, as Wiimote cursor is shaking: "Oh god, I have the hands of a drunk. My hands are— I got the DTs or something. I don't know what's going on there."

Ryon, reading patient's info: "Alright. Eugene. 'Multiple—'"

Felicia: "He is 70 inches. That's what it says! 70.5 inches. He's like a firehose."

Ryon: "Check this out. I'm gonna sew him up like a sweater."

Ryon: "The white witch from fucking Narnia is here. 'He's eaten too much Turkish delight.'"

Ryon: "I'll goofy juice him. I'll fill him full of goof juice."

Felicia: "Oh god, goof juice. No no really."

Ryon: "She's fine, dude. She's Gucci. She's totally Gucci."

Felicia: "There's so much blood! Really? This fountain of blood is Gucci?"

Felicia: "What is that other flag?"

Ryon: "It's Alaska, dude."

Felicia: "Alaska has a flag? I didn't think about it. I just— I dunno."

Ryon: "That's the vexillology lesson of the week."

Felicia: "Boy, he's— He's quite short, for— I mean, 65 inches is 5′1″."

Ryon, pauses, laughs

Felicia: "Right?"

Ryon busts out laughing

Loud laughing off camera

Off-camera: "Weren't you a math major?"

Ryon: "Okay, dude—"

Felicia: "I can't stop laughing!!"

Ryon: "Suck it! I'm suckin' it, you need to sew it! I suck, you sew!"

Felicia: "I can't stop laughing!"

Ryon: "That's the deal here! I suck, you sew!"

Ryon: "I'm never gonna ask you to sew a button on any of my shirts, that's for fucking sure."

Rating

Ryon: "Five gallons of goof juice"

Felicia: "C" (as in the grade the game gave them at the completion of several levels)

Cue points

0:00	"This week" preview
0:09	Opening theme
0:18	Host intro
1:34	Game begins
9:56	"Ryon's Vexillology Lesson of the Week"
13:52	Rating and outro
14:18	End card/promo
14:27	Closing theme
14:30	End video