Episode 16

Gauntlet IV

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Platform	Sega Genesis
Published	Tengen, 1993
Vapor Trail: Hyper Offence Formation
Platform	Sega Genesis
Published	Renovation Products, 1991
Paperboy
Platform	Sega Genesis
Published	Atari, 1988
Credits
Hosts	Felicia Day Ryon Day
Director	Sean Becker
Executive producers	Felicia Day Sheri Bryant
Editing	Sean Becker James Deuling
Graphics	Steven Sprinkles
Music	Jason Charles Miller
Production assistant	Annie Liu
Stats (as of January 12, 2020)
First aired	September 23, 2013
Duration	23:58
Views	219,083
Likes	5,086
Comments	817

Quotes

Felicia: "From what I remember, you can be a warrior, a valkyrie, like an archer elf—"

Ryon: "You read that— You didn't remember that. It's right on the cartridge. You're like, 'From what I remember, you either have Conan there, Red Sonja, Gandalf, or Legolas. That's what you got.'"

Felicia: "I need food. I need food."

Ryon: "Badly? Would you say you need food badly?"

Felicia: "Well, we gotta work together somehow maybe."

Felicia: "I'm gonna try to use a little strategy and back myself into a corner."

Ryon, mockingly: "Mnyeh-mnyeh-mnyeh-strategy-mnyeh-mnyeh."

Felicia, after long pause: "Wow. Awful."

Felicia: "Look at me. I'm being smart. I'm in a doorway. Come to me, come to me. I'll just plow you down."

Ryon: "Oh, Goofus stands out in the open and gets surrounded by ghosts, whereas Gallant stands in a doorway."

Felicia: "Highlights."

Ryon: "Highlights for valkyries. Goofus the elf gets surrounded by monsters. Gallant strategically guards chokepoints."

Felicia: "Oh god. You know what, when you run into them, they take your health."

Felicia: "God, I don't like this boomerang thing. It's like you're shooting eyelashes and mustaches at everybody."

Ryon: "Train-based warfare just doesn't seem like a smart thing. They'll never see our attack train coming. We just have to build a track into enemy territory."

Felicia: "You could do an inventive indie twist on [Vapor Trail], like it could be a mustache and a top hat that basically spits cigarettes at Starbucks. Right? That would be the hipster equivalent."

Ryon: "What kind of fever dream is that? Yeah, a top-down hipster-based shoot-'em-up? You're riding a fixie? Your fixie has like guns on it or something like that?"

Felicia: "Exactly! That's what I'm saying. You can make a fun variant on this type of game."

Ryon: "You have to liberate the vintage clothing shop and artisanal denim."

Felicia: "It's called Barista Rage."

Ryon, about Paperboy: "I think this is a David Lynch game. That's the only explanation, is David Lynch directed this."

Sean Becker, off camera: "Why would you think that the one item you can collect is sushi?"

Ryon: "Well, what else makes sense about this town?"

Felicia: "We're going to do one more easy round, and I know we said we wouldn't do more, but I'm a liar."

Ryon: "That's all there is to it. You're a [fucking] liar."

Felicia, after Ryon crashes yet again from going too fast: "You're so— You've got— How many times do you have to watch me do this to be like, 'Oh, that's a better way to go'?"

Ryon: "I gotta learn at the feet of the master, is that it?"

Character names

No character creation, per se, although Felicia enters her high scores into Paperboy as "FELICIAA" and "FELICIA"

Rating

Felicia, Paperboy: "100 hobos"

Felicia, Vapor Trail: "5 fire missiles"

Ryon, Paperboy: "1 really tightly rolled paper pointed straight up"

Cue points

0:00	"This week" preview
0:05	Opening theme
0:13	Host intro
1:13	Gauntlet IV begins
2:15	"Strategy of the Week"
6:17	Vapor Trail: Hyper Offence Formation begins
12:09	Paper Boy begins
23:24	Rating and outro
23:42	End card/promo
23:56	Closing theme
23:58	End video