Felicia and Ryon play Dance Central 3.
|Dance Central 3|
|Published||Microsoft Studios, 2012|
|Director of cinematography||Omer Ganai|
|Executive producers||Felicia Day
|Music||Jason Charles Miller|
|Production assistant||Zach Donohue
|Production designer||Stephanie Hass|
|Line producer||Clay Reed|
|Production coordinator||Nick Appelbaum|
|Stats (as of January 12, 2020)|
|First aired||January 19, 2015|
Felicia: "Have you played this before?"
Ryon: "No, I don't dance, like, at all."
Felicia: "You don't dance. If you're at a club and you're drunk you don't dance."
Ryon: "That's why this is gonna be the most awkward Co-Optitude episode ever filmed."
Felicia: "I am a good dancer in the way that Elaine from Seinfeld was a good dancer. So you're like, 'That's… eye-catching!' That's basically what I do."
Ryon, woodenly: "Hey. I have an idea. Why don't you bust some crazy moves while I check it out?"
Felicia, woodenly: "Absolutely. This is a spontaneous choice we just decided to do."
Ryon: "Alright. Let's do it. Yeah! Bam! [misses high five] No, look at the elbow. Bam! [connects high five]"
Felicia: "OW! Fuck you!"
Felicia, seeing herself on Kinect: "Oh, why am I pulsating? Are those my real thighs? Oh god. Is this a heat sensor? My right breast is very strong."
Felicia: "What— I can't get my soul into it. It's too fast. This is so awkward."
Ryon: "We know. Dead silence in the room. Dead silence."
Ryon, woodenly: "Good job, dance queen. Now it's my turn to bust some crazy moves up there."
Felicia: "Why are you talking like it's an after-school special?"
Felicia: "Question: Are you gonna do legit?"
Ryon: "No! I'm not legit! I'm like the opposite of legit. I am illegitimate."
Ryon: "Is this the longest song? Is this Stairway to Heaven or something? Jesus Christ!"
Felicia: "Were you sweating?"
Ryon: "I'm fucking like drenched, dude!"
Felicia: "I know, it's hard! Okay, so you did pretty good!"
Ryon: "It's the humiliation combined with the exercise. It's an unbeatable sweat."
Felicia: "God, this is hard! Who does this at a party? It's like the person who goes to karaoke who obviously performed in like a national pageant."
Felicia: "I totally look exactly like her, right?"
Ryon: "It's like a mirror image. I can't tell which is the screen and which is the person! Which one of you is real?"
Ryon, reading move scores: "'Nice.' Alright. That's just the Kinect being condescending I think, but that's cool. 'Almost.' So encouraging."
Ryon: "Come on!"
Felicia: "I'm not a professional dancer!"
Ryon: "No! God, you could have fooled me!"
Ryon, looking at stills of Felicia's dancing: "And here's some precious memories. Too bad we don't have a photo printer, but that's cool."
Ryon, choosing character: "God, what a creepy— He looks like someone from VH-1's The Pickup Artist, doesn't he? Ugh god, I'm gonna have to wash after this."
Ryon: "Oh yeah! Yeah, guys! Lemme feel the flow. Are you feelin' my flow? This is so humiliating. I don't even know."
Ryon: "This is what we're gonna be remembered for. Not any of the good episodes, by the way. I'm gonna have this play at my funeral. 'You remember when he did this? You remember this? This is the story of your life.'"
Felicia: "I'll make sure it happens! I'll make sure it happens!"
Ryon: "'The story of your life.'"
Felicia: "There'll be a montage of moments from your life and it'll be all your—"
Ryon: "Yeah, this is it. Like all of my life's moments are gonna be taken from this episode of Co-Optitude. It's like, 'Well, he didn't do much, but he did this when he was alive.'"
Felicia: "Uhh, I think we have to keep making this episode."
Ryon: "Certainly we have enough footage by this point."
Felicia: "No, we're gonna do a dance battle and that's it."
Ryon, seeing crew versus screen: "Oh, what are you, serious people? Serious versus wacky?"
Felicia: "I'm a PR firm and you're the kid on the street."
Ryon: "God, this is like The Bad News Bears of dance movies right here. This is a good storyline right here. [woodenly as characters] 'You came from wealth and prestige, whereas I grew up on the mean streets.'"
Felicia: "What happened? [loudly to Xbox] Continue!"
Ryon: "Continue. Xbox, continue."
Felicia: "Continue! Xbox, continue!"
Ryon: "Xbox, continue!"
Felicia: "Xbox, continue! Xbox, continue! Continue!"
Ryon: "Haw! Xbox, continue!"
Felicia: "Xbox, continue! Xbox, continue! Continue! Xbox, continue! [Ryon hits start on controller] … Okay."
Ryon, woodenly as characters: "'You think your privileged wealth can beat street smarts and pluck? You're wrong.'"
Felicia, as characters: "'I'm going to sell you some insurance with a low premium, except not really.'"
Ryon: "Alright, I'm about to lecture you about life on the streets."
Ryon: "This became past awkward, we're past humiliated, we're past regret."
Felicia, laughing: "You're gonna hate me forever for making you do this."
Ryon: "It doesn't even recognize what I'm doing. The computer's very confused right now. This one's easy though. I'll do 'suspenders' all day long."
Ryon: "God, I didn't know this song was that long."
Felicia: "I know, it's almost as if it's taking a classic that I love forever and ruining it forever."
Ryon: "God, this song now means trauma. This song now equals trauma for me."
Ryon: "Oh, looks like wealth and prestige won out. Oh well. Just like real life. 'Life's not a movie, kid!'"
Felicia: "Please sharelikeascribe because we did this for you."
Ryon: "Yeah, LOOK WHAT WE DID TO OURSELVES!! Just give us something! And you know what? Any nasty comment you could possibly leave—"
Felicia: "Leave 'em all!"
Ryon: "Yeah, just go wild, dudes. Come on. Go wild."
Felicia: "Like all of 'em. Any negativity or positivity, just let it all out."
Ryon: "Yeah, just any bilious rantings that you've been thinking about, not about us. You hate something? Tell us about it in the comments."
Felicia: "Pooping position"
Ryon: "A yawning chasm in my heart"
|0:00||"This week" preview|
|9:33||"Artificially Unintelligent Moment of the Week"|
|11:38||Rating and outro|
- Elaine Benes on Wikipedia - character on Seinfeld with a memorable episode where she's revealed to dance terribly
- ABC Afterschool Special on Wikipedia
- Led Zeppelin - Stairway to Heaven (Music Video) on Vimeo - referenced due to its nearly 8-minute length
- The Pickup Artist (TV series) on Wikipedia
- Songs danced to
- Martin Solveig & Dragonette - Hello (Official Short Video Version HD) on YouTube - danced to by Felicia
- The Trammps - Disco Inferno on YouTube - danced to by Ryon
- Kelly Clarkson - Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You) (Official Video) on YouTube - danced to by Felicia
- Vanilla Ice - Ice Ice Baby (Official Video) on YouTube - danced to by Ryon
- The Village People - YMCA - TopPop on YouTube - danced to by both