Felicia and Ryon play Crypt of the NecroDancer.
|Crypt of the NecroDancer|
|Published||Klei Entertainment, 2015|
|Stats (as of January 12, 2020)|
|First aired||June 13, 2016|
Ryon: "What is that on your shirt?"
Felicia: "It's bling."
Ryon: "It looks like those candies that come on the wax paper sheets. Do you know what I'm talking about? What are those called? It's like little sheets of paper and it's got candies on it? What is it called?"
Felicia: "Nobody knows— Oh, I know what you're talking about. Oh, that's a horrible candy."
Ryon: "It's a really bad candy."
Felicia: "It's horrible. It's like butt in your mouth. It's not good."
Ryon: "'Butt in your mouth.'"
Felicia: "Well, okay. Hey, welcome to Co-Optitude!"
Ryon: "'Butt in your mouth.'"
Felicia: "This is a show where I play games with my brother."
Ryon: "And I play games with my sister."
Felicia: "It's been three, four years now."
Ryon: "Four— 'Three, four'. Are you just hedging your bets there?"
Felicia: "Well, when I look back at old Co-Optitude episodes I was like, 'You should have taken advantage of that younger face.'"
Ryon, bewildered: "What does that mean?"
Felicia, shrugging: "I don't know."
Ryon: "Is that what you're trying to say, is that you regret the precious moments that we've shared together for the past four years?"
Felicia, mumbling dispassionately: "No, not this, not this. I don't regret this."
Ryon: "No? Backpedal faster, bitch."
Both make backpedal gestures
Felicia: "Anyway, we're really happy to be here today, because we're playing—"
Ryon: "Wow, that sounded so sincere."
Felicia: "I know, it's really really fake."
Ryon: "'I'm so happy to be here with my biggest regret of the past half decade.' Well, I'm outta here! See you later!"
Felicia: "Do you know that Killers song, 'Only human, we all are dancers.'"
Ryon: "No, 'are we human or are we dancers?'"
Felicia: "'Are we humans or are we dancers?'"
Ryon: "I don't think that that is a dichotomy. I think you can be a human as well as dance. That's just one man's opinion!"
Felicia: "I think logically, the Venn diagram— Yeah. Can you dance and not be a human?"
Ryon, gesturing toward the game: "I think we're gonna find out."
Felicia: "Well no, I don't think we're playing non-humans, but I'm saying, is a bear dancing really dancing, or is it just trained to look like they're dancing? What about— no, a horse?"
Ryon: "So what do you call it?"
Felicia: "They're imitating dancing when a human taught 'em to pretend to dance."
Ryon: "But isn't that still dancing?"
Felicia: "Is the act of dancing just moving steps or is it your soul?"
Ryon: "You're saying animals don't have souls now. This is incredibly offensive. I'm sorry to my viewers."
Felicia: "I think animals have souls, but will music move their souls to dance?"
Ryon: "I have no idea what you're talking about, but—"
Felicia: "Alright, anyway, we're playing a dancing game."
Ryon: "—all I know is that I saw a Vine where a bird was like bobbing to music, and I was like, 'that motherfucker is dancing.'"
Felicia: "Okay, great! Well, there's your standard!"
Felicia, haltingly (somewhat) to beat: "We're really… doing… good here. I can't talk out of rhyme here. We… need to… go to the right… I'm… going to… do this. It's… really… awesome. Yeah. I'm the… one who's… not good… question mark. I can do this."
Ryon, laughing: "You're not even talking in the beat. It's the whitest thing you've ever done, right there. Droppin' your phat lyrics. Your lyrics are fire. This is good."
Felicia, to beat: "Hold back. Back off. You—"
Ryon: "You deserve to be Felicia 3000 at the very [least]."
Felicia, to beat: "Okay. I will… find the… stairs for… you. And… bring you… back. Come on… dawggy. Come back… and play!"
Ryon: "Boy, you should do a rap battle on The Flog. What are you doing?"
Felicia, to beat: "I… am in… beat. Look at me go. I'm so leet!"
Ryon: "'On fleek.' That's what you should have said. You should have said 'on fleek,' but you missed your opportunity."
Felicia, to beat: "Where… is the stairway? Does anybody see the stairway?"
Ryon, laughing: "You just rhymed 'stairway' with 'stairway.' This is good."
Felicia, to beat: "Okay. Wow… look at all these—"
Ryon, to beat: "Here we go. Look at you go. You are such a stupid ho. That's how it goes. That's how it's supposed to go."
Felicia, to beat: "Here we go. You'll be saved. You won't thank me, but that's okay."
Ryon laughs as he facepalms
Felicia, to beat: "Screw that dagger… that's not okay."
Ryon: "It's hard to rhyme with 'dagger,' I agree. It's difficult."
Felicia, to beat: "I like Mick Jagger!"
Felicia, to beat: "Thanks for the gold, you assholes. I am never going to be a rapper!"
Ryon, laughing: "Well, you could have spent the previous four years learning, but you spent it with Co-Optitude instead."
Felicia: "Come on, the groove is on! You fucked the groove! You fucked the groove!"
Ryon, laughing: "That sounds like some pretty good lyrics, dude. 'Yeah, fuck that groove. Fuck it hard."
Felicia: "Fuck that groove, fucking fucker."
Felicia, to beat: "I'm grooving! Yes sir!"
Ryon: "'Yes sir'! Never heard before in song lyrics. First time that has ever been used in song lyrics."
Ryon: "That skeleton is getting his groove on!"
Felicia: "That's how Stella got his groove on. Skelly got his groove on!"
Felicia: "You got a wide sword though, don't you?"
Ryon: "That's what the ladies say."
Felicia, beating on armrest: "Can you go down the stairs and have me play! I'd like to play some!"
Ryon: "Rhyme and I'll do it. Gimme a good rhyme. Do it. It's all you."
Ryon: "Yeah? Oh this is good already."
Felicia: "I had some cheese from France—"
Ryon: "Mm-hmm. Then what?"
Felicia: "—and I wasn't wearing pants."
Ryon: "Oh dude. That's so good."
Felicia: "I've already lost a health. It's not good. Don't know how to rhyme 'health.' It's stealth! Yeah!"
Ryon: "A little too late."
Felicia: "If only I had stealth! Yeah, let's just retcon that, and I said it."
Ryon: "That's good. Yeah, just edit it in. It's fine."
Felicia: "You know what, the fun of this game is just grooving, okay?"
Ryon: "And doing really shitty rhymes, right?"
Felicia: "Yeah. Have you done any rhymes at all? You won't even try."
Ryon: "I did a really good one. I called you a ho."
Felicia: "Yeah, okay."
Felicia: "This game would be much better if we didn't have to talk to the audience at all."
Felicia, to beat: "For dinner… I want a burger… and some fries. If you do good… you'll definitely try."
Felicia: "Hey… I'm gonna demonstrate… that I can go ahead and rate… this awesome game, which would be, uh… uh… awesome… awesome game."
Ryon: "Yeah, 'game' rhymes with 'game,' guys! You know, you take every small victory you can in life, I find. And 'game' does rhyme with itself. I think it counts! Okay, well, I don't know if I can top that."
Felicia: "I'll say ten. And then you go ahead… and put it in a pen. And I'll say… that we go… and we'll… have to find… to go eat snow. [long uncomfortable look into camera]"
Ryon: "Good! Good job. Alright, guys."
Ryon: "10 phat rhymes straight up"
Felicia: "I will rate it 7 I'll go ahead and—" (Ryon: "up it to 11")
|0:02||"This week" preview|
|8:05||"Editor's Act of Defiance of the Week"|
|11:19||Rating and outro|
- Let's Play Crypt of the Necrodancer! (Co-Optitude w/ Ryon & Felicia Day) on YouTube
- Crypt of the NecroDancer on Wikipedia
- The Killers - Human (Official Music Video) on YouTube - the song with the lyrics "are we human or are we dancers"
- Mick Jagger on Wikipedia
- How Stella Got Her Groove Back on Wikipedia - what Felicia was referencing with "How Skelly Got His Groove On"