Episode 79

Felicia and Ryon play Chariot.

Chariot

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Platform	Unknown platform
Published	Frima Studio, 2014
Credits
Hosts	Felicia Day Ryon Day
Director	Zac Eubank
Director of cinematography	Omer Ganai
Executive producers	Felicia Day Sheri Bryant
Editing	Aline Oliviera
Graphics	Natalia Daniels
Music	Jason Charles Miller
Production assistant	Becca Scott
Gaffer	David Thompson
Makeup	Cat Paschen
Production coordinator	Nick Appelbaum
Stats (as of January 12, 2020)
First aired	February 2, 2015
Duration	13:16
Views	117,638
Likes	3,797
Comments	249

Quotes

Felicia: "Hey everybody! It's Co-Optitude time!"

Ryon: "It's Co-Optitude time again this week."

Felicia: "I wonder what kind of show this is."

Ryon: "I don't know. What could it be?"

Felicia: "Oh! It's where I play games with my brother!"

Ryon: "That's right!"

Felicia: "And…"

Ryon: "I tolerate the presence of my sister on my show."

Felicia: "And we didn't get far but we got… fun. [laughs] Did you hear that? I made that up! I'm amazing!"

Ryon, laughing: "Damn! You're good! Jesus Christ!"

Ryon: "We might not get far, but we'll get fun. That's not even correct English, which I can't even believe— 'Get fun.'"

Felicia, laughing: "But it's catchy! That could be our next 'play this fucker'!"

Ryon, in caveman voice: "We get fun! We get fun!"

Felicia: "Sure, that would be our shirt! It'll be a shirt that actual people who are not—"

Ryon, in caveman voice: "We not get far but we get fun."

Ryon: "Okay, so the premise behind this game is basically—"

Felicia: "My dad died—"

Ryon: "—Dad died, and—"

Felicia: "—my fiancée/brother—"

Ryon: "Yeah, I'm a gold digging fiancée."

Felicia: "You're a gold digging fiancée who's like, 'Okay, we'll take his body to the place he wants to go.' He's a little bitchy little ghost."

Ryon: "He is. He's really brittle."

Felicia: "He's a big ol' B."

Ryon: "I like the idea of his corpse just rattling around in there."

Felicia: "Sail!"

Ryon: "No, we didn't sail. SAIL!"

Felicia: "Dangle. Dingle dangle dangle."

Ryon, singing: "Whatcha gonna do with your daddy's corpse? Dingle dangle dangle."

Felicia: "[gasp] We haven't DONE this level! [slaps Ryon]"

Felicia, bouncing: "Oh Jesus! So much air!"

Ryon: "Look at that! Dude, air. You're Air Shithead. That's what you are."

Felicia, laughing: "Is that my airline?"

Ryon: "Yeah, that's your— That's your name. Like Air Jordan except Air Fuckface."

Ryon, after landing large jump: "OH FUCK YEAH, DUDE! Was that not worth it? I ask of you."

Felicia: "Where am I?"

Ryon: "You're f— I dunno. Who the fuck gives a fuck?"

Ryon: "Do you realize that we have lost 800 of Pop's golds and now we're back down at the bottom?"

Felicia, laughing: "Can we just go?"

Ryon: "You know the hardest puzzle in this game is playing it when you're playing it, dude. Like, you're the 2 stars. In single-player mode it's actually 1 star. True story."

Felicia: "This game is probably harder than… science."

Felicia, upon entering room full of gems: "[gasp] Oh my god! My dreams come true! We need all of them!"

Ryon: "Look at all these fat stacks though. This is amazing."

Felicia: "Oh my god! This is so satisfying! This is like vacuuming, only better!"

Ryon: "God, there should be like a movie about this. You know? It's like the incredible journey."

Ryon: "How good are we, dude?"

Felicia: "No no no, you nailed that."

Ryon: "I'm towin' your fucking sorry ass."

Felicia: "Okay. I mean, when you compliment me and then you say I'm a sorry ass—"

Ryon: "Okay, you better lock it down over there, dude. Because— Now, lock it down. Oh god. Oh god. Is it locked down? It is not, indeed, locked down. It is free to float. It is free floating."

Felicia: "Oh, we actually did something good, after that trauma of where I almost literally legally had you removed as my relative. I don't know if that's possible, but I was gonna do the paperwork."

Ryon while jumping a chasm: "Them Duke boys was in a heap of trouble! Oh dude. Bye."

Felicia: "I mean, maybe don't do the catchphrase. Just concentrate on making the jump."

Ryon: "Lock it down. Nope. Lock it down. Lock it down."

Felicia: "When you say it and don't do it it doesn't matter."

Ryon: "It's true, man. When you say 'lock it down' there should be like a Kinect voice."

Felicia: "It should be a Siri thing. 'Would you like to lock it down?'"

Ryon: "'Siri! Lock it down!' [in Siri voice] 'I don't know how to lock it down.'"

Felicia: "God, I don't think I've ever been as happy or sad or angry playing a video game. Like, really, the rage."

Ryon: "It runs you through the full gamut of emotions, doesn't it?"

Felicia: "You're just like, I want you to die,"

Ryon: "Yeah."

Felicia: "I'm going to murder you in your sleep,"

Ryon: "Yes, that's true."

Felicia: "we are the best,"

Ryon: "Yeah. You're the worst."

Felicia: "and you are literally the worst."

Felicia: "Can we do this? This is fucking monkey business."

Ryon: "Get up there, dude."

Felicia: "You keep pulling it over the crest of the nipple!!"

Rating

Felicia: "18,000,000 lock it downs"

Ryon: "20,000,000 fat stacks"

Cue points

0:00	"This week" preview
0:08	Opening theme
0:17	Host intro
1:47	Game begins
5:38	"Thoughtful Observation of the Week"
12:39	Rating and outro
13:03	End card/promo
13:14	Closing theme
13:16	End video

Trivia

Chariot is the first game Felicia and Ryon streamed together on their personal Twitch channels. It was uploaded to Felicia's YouTube channel and can be watched here.
Frima studios, the makers of Chariot, had a shirt made with Felicia's catchphrase "We might not get far but we get fun" and made it available at their booth at PAX East 2015.

Gallery

Felicia and Ryon introducing the episode
Felicia reacting to Ryon asserting it's his show
The Chariot logo
Felicia and Ryon at E3 trying Chariot for the first time
Custom art by the Chariot developers featuring Felicia and Ryon
Closeup of artwork
Jason Derulo wondering whatcha gonna do with your daddy's corpse
"We haven't DONE this level!!" as Ryon tries to swallow a drink
Air Fuckface
Fat stacks discovered
A film about fat stacks
"Them Duke boys was in a heap of trouble!"
Ryon raging
Siri doesn't know how to lock it down
A shirt Frima studios made available at their booth at PAX East 2015 with Felicia's catchphrase on it