Episode 37

Felicia and Ryon play Alundra.

This is part 1 of a two-part playthrough. Part 2 is Episode 38.

Alundra

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Platform	PlayStation
Published	Working Designs, 1998
Credits
Hosts	Felicia Day Ryon Day
Director	Sean Becker
Executive producers	Felicia Day Sheri Bryant
Editing	Andrew Jewell
Graphics	Steven Sprinkles
Music	Jason Charles Miller
Production assistant	Annie Liu
Stats (as of January 12, 2020)
First aired	March 10, 2014
Duration	13:56
Views	131,434
Likes	2,959
Comments	233

Quotes

Both reading in exaggerated pirate accent: "'Yarr, what ya be wantin', boy? Have ya forgotten where yer cabin is again?'"

Ryon: "'Again'?"

Felicia: "'Again'?"

Ryon: "That means this dude has been wandering around the ship like several times a day. 'Where's my cabin?'"

Felicia, reading in accent: "'Damnation! For the fifth time, lad, yer cabin—'"

Ryon: "Is that Foghorn Leghorn as a sailor now?"

Felicia: "Pirates are just homoerotic. I'm sorry, piracy is just— It is! It's like hot men on a ship together. There's nothing better than that."

Ryon: "If there's anything that needs to be fixed on a boat it'd be a crack in the wall."

Felicia: "Yeah, there should be a rush."

Ryon: "That's pretty vital."

Felicia: "I'm gonna say that the blasé attitude, that's like a D-grade pirate."

Felicia, as Alundra pulsates in bed: "What are you doing down there. Why are you pulsating?"

Ryon: "You don't wanna know. Let's say just because that pirate heard me screaming in my sleep, it is not because I was having a bad dream."

Felicia, as Ryon makes character pulsate faster: "Please stop it!"

Ryon, as dream sequence starts: "You're late for class and you're not wearing pants! You haven't been to this class all semester!"

Felicia: "You look dead. This might be the end of the game."

Ryon, about Jess: "Look at his lips. He's all like gonna [makes kissing noises]"

Ryon: "Oh man. These people are creeping me out. Although it is the opposite of The Secret of Mana. These people are overly nice, and that creeps me out as much as them being mean, really."

Felicia, reading dialog: "Okay. There's a lot of talking. I'd just like to kill a couple people."

Felicia, trying to interact with character in a bed: "Well, this isn't working. Can I get in bed with him, just give him one last—"

Ryon, laughing: "One last pullie?"

Ryon, opening chest with "Herbs" inside: "Oh sweet! I got some sticky icky. 'Herbs obtained.' Yeah."

Ryon, reading dialog: "'Do you feel the flow?' Feel my funky flow? Alright. He's gonna do a rap battle now."

Ryon: "What kind of stupid old man puts like moving platforms with switches in his dreams? That's all I gotta say. It's your own fault, Wendell. If you dreamed like a square room then you'd be all good."

Felicia: "Can you go rescue the old guy?"

Ryon: "Look, I'm just doing this dream puzzle, alright? Maybe if he didn't dream in puzzles I would be able to do something right, but nooo. Old Wendell's gotta be a tricky old man."

Ryon, delivering final blow to slime: "There we go. Okay. Oh, what? Oh no."

Felicia: "Four mediums."

Ryon: "Four mediums."

Felicia: "You know what's gonna happen? Eight small ones. God, don't be so predictable, Alundra."

Ryon: "No, get away from Wendell, you—"

Felicia: "Wendell's fine. This is his dream."

Ryon: "Oh yeah, Wendell's invincible. Yeah, in his dream. Wendell was never in any danger whatsoever. Wendell, you're the most tedious old man."

Felicia: "I mean, he could be stopping something with that cane."

Ryon: "Your dreams are truly tedious, Wendell."

Both reading: "'He's not moaning anymore.'"

Felicia, reading: "'And he's smiling!'"

Ryon, laughing: "I don't know what you did, but you sure finished him off!"

Felicia, reading: "'When you entered Wendell's dream, the body went slack.' Well, that's a problem that old men sometimes have."

Felicia: "God, another blonde guy. There are a lot of blonde people in this Japanese game! Why aren't there Japanese people in these Japanese games?"

Ryon, during dialog explaining another problem: "These people are just loading their baggage on us. Just, 'Have some baggage. Have our baggage. Have our baggage. We can't deal with our own problems.'"

Felicia: "Backstoryville. Backstoryville."

Felicia, as we are given another crisis to solve: "God, I guess I'll just go—"

Ryon: "Just piling up! Just, 'Oh, a coal mine collapsed. Help us. Oh, we're having bad dreams.'"

Felicia: "Does anybody ask where I wanna sleep or maybe if I have to piss?"

Ryon: "'Mommy didn't love me.' God. These people are so needy."

Felicia: "Why is everyone blonde and male in this game!? Look at his chin. He's not Japanese, but he's got blue-black hair. Yeah, black-blue hair. You know where they put all the people with dark hair? In the mine."

Zane's dialog: "You can remember that, can't you? Or is that too difficult for your tiny elf brain?"

Felicia: "What the fuck!?"

Ryon: "You motherfucker you! You motherfucker."

Felicia: "God, what a racist muttonchopped fucking piece of shit."

Ryon: "We're getting nothing out of this deal, you know that?"

Felicia: "No, we're getting nothing except racism."

Jess's dialog: "One way or the other, I'm going to keep you alive through this…"

Ryon, singing: "One way. Or the other. I'm gonna keep you. I'm gonna keep you keep you keep you keep you."

Felicia, regarding Jess being overprotective: "God, this guy is an overb— Listen, it was just one date from Grindr, okay? Jess. Jesus. It doesn't mean anything!"

Felicia: "We haven't even met a portion of the people who live in this game. They're all fucked up."

Ryon: "I can't wait to find out what passive-aggressive, co-dependent, messed up people—"

Felicia: "Yeah, demands on our time are gonna be here in this little village."

Ryon: "Just crazy-makers. They're all crazy-makers."

Cue points

0:00	"This week" preview
0:11	Opening theme
0:19	Host intro
1:19	Game begins
4:41	"The Trimming the Verg of the Week" [sic]
13:11	Outro
13:46	End card/promo
13:53	Closing theme
13:56	End video

Gallery

Felicia and Ryon introducing the episode
Alundra game box
Ryon holding up the included map as Felicia reads the back of the CD case
Ryon making the character pulsate suggestively in bed
Jess's pouting lips
They discover you can cut down bushes in the game
Felicia wordlessly critiques Ryon's slapdash barrel placement
Attempt 13 at the pathway puzzle
Zane's elf racism
An off-camera voice pleads with Felicia to do something with the lit bomb over her head
Jess's Grindr profile
Game over screen as they realize they haven't saved once